To Bellamy, from Clarke
by ElStark
Summary: All is set in the UK. Bellamy is the Lead Singer and Song Writer of the Sky People. Clarke meets him before he becomes famous but they loose all contacts. She sees him again after 5 years and decide to write him. For a while she doesn't receive response. When he finally writes her it's almost too late.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

"You promised."

Clarke smiled "Aww you really miss me, don't you" she slipped the ticket through the machine and walked through the doors.

Her best friend sighed "I never said I didn't.. Here everyone hates me."

Clarke rolled her eyes "That's not true. What about Emily?" she could almost see him, looking down at his shoes and kicking a pebble to hide his flush

"Yeah, everyone but her…." He admitted in a whisper that she almost missed

"You know what my dad always says:-" she said getting on an empty carriage

"Sometimes all that matters is One person.. Yeah, I know, he says it all the time" Clarke laughed, pulling her beanie and scarf off and throwing them on the window-seat

"Well, he's right. And I think you already find yours" She said sitting on the other seat and resting her feet on the one across her

"Mhm.. But I still need my best friend anyway."

She sighed "I really miss you too, Wells. But I'm as stuck as you are. I have exams all this month and then I have my monthly visit home.. You could come too, you know.."

"Yeah, but then I'd have to see that ugly face of that hag of my stepmom, no thanks. There's a reason why I chose a Uni at 413 miles from home."

She threw up her free hand "Then, when are we supposed to see each other?"

"I don't know.." Wells said in a pitiful sad voice.

She sighed again and pinched the bridge of her nose "Look, I'll try.. We'll figure something out. Okay?"

"Okay." She heard the relief in his voice and smiled "uh-oh"

"What?" she asked pulling her feet down and straightening up.

"I think my dad's calling"

"He really misses you.."

"Yeah, then he should've never married that.. that-well you know.. I gotta go, though"

"Sure.. Good luck"

"Thanks. I'll hear you soon.. Knobby"

"WELLS!" she heard him laugh and then the line went dead.

That stupid nickname.

One day, when they were in middle school, they had to research the story behind nicknames for a History assignment and Wells in a moment of madness decided to research hers.. and Knobby or Nobby happened.

KNOBBY. Seriously? The hell that come from?

Well, actually she knew, something about clerks having to wear nobby hats and/or that because they used to write a lot they had calluses on fingers so.. nobby clerks..

That ass-hat knew how much she hated that "nickname" and of course he used it almost every time they heard each other, just to piss her off and amuse himself.

She pulled open her bag and took her laptop out thinking to work on some course assignemennt.

But just as she opened a new word page, her phone biped signalling a new message from her roommate.

Can you come on FB?

She rolled her eyes and opened the Facebook page.

_When are you going to be back?_

**Why? What happened?**

_Nothgn!_

**Raven.**

**Even written that sounded defensive.**

**Not to mention that you totally misspelled..**

_I may have broken the toaster again.._

Clarke groaned.

**I can't believe it!**

**That's like the third time!**

_Jee girl, calm down I'll repair it. _

_Like always._

**You don't even like toast!**

**How did you break it, this time?**

_I dON't knoW!_

_I just poKe it and _

_Then all I kNow is that all Hell broke lOose_

**Why would you poke it?**

**That doesn't even make sense**

_I think that the thing hates me so.._

_It doesn't matter._

Clarke was typing when a boy barely made it on the carriage just as the doors where sliding close, so she didn't notice him until she saw movement from the corner of her eye, on the seat across hers.

**When I'm back, the toaster will move in my side of the room.**

**Away from your evil hands.**

When she looked up from the screen her breath caught.

Across from her was sitting the most gorgeous boy she ever met. The perfect subject for her drawings.

He was looking for something inside his backpack but suddenly he looked up and caught her staring.

He smiled. And God, he also had a gorgeous smile.

She blinked and flashed him a quick smile turning her eyes back on the screen.

**DAMN**

_wHAT?_

**A cute guy just sat across me..**

_Well?_

**Well.. what?**

_The heck are you doing still talking to me? Go talk to HIM!_

She rolled her eyes smiling and sneaked a look towards the cutie

**pity..**

_NoW wHAT?_

**Why do you keep putting the cap locks like that?**

_Clarke._

She could practically see her friend rolling her eyes

**Raven.**

_Stop it! Tell me what's going on!_

**Woah, calm down crazy,**

**Nothing's going on here.**

**he's reading..**

She pressed _enter_ stealing another glance at the stranger, and wait, are those freckles?

_Ugh, he doesn't know what he's missing.. _

_his bad.. _

_I should know since I'm the luckiest gurl in the whole wide world in having the privilege to share the ROOM with yOU._

Still in wonder from her discovery- her hands itching for a pencil so that she could draw him like that, whit that intense look, completely taken by the story he was reading,- she had to read the message twice, and when she did, she laughed.. Loudly.

She was laughing so hard that her eyes watered and she was forced to cover her them so that she wouldn't see the screen, and tried to breathe normally.

She tried and failed at least three times, before the giggle attacks quieted.

When she lowered her hands and glanced across her, purposely avoiding the screen, she noticed something odd. The book on his lap was closed. Clarke looked up, still with a goofy grin, and realized that now the guy was looking at _her_.. Smiling amused.

She felt her face go hot and immediately adverted her eyes and looked down on her computer. Bad choice. Giggle attack number four was risking to knock her over as she couldn't stop laughing even to breath. So she did the most sensible thing to do in these situations: she got up and ran to the restroom.

When she had control of her breathing again she took out her phone and speed dialled Raven's number.

She answered at the first ring.

"Hell-O"

"I'm gonna kill you when I'll be back" unfortunately she couldn't muster her meanest and lowest voice, since her throat was still sore from her giggle-attack

"HA! I was wondering what happened to you when you didn't reply.."

"That. Was. Embarrassing." She said sitting on top of hundreds toilet papers on the lid of the toilet, and hid her face with her free hand

"Ow, C'mon what happened?"

"..Oh my god.. I started to laugh so hard and Loudly.. When I looked his way, he was staring at me with this cute smile and his book was closed.."

"Wait. Where are you now?" Clarke made a face, anticipating what was coming

"Sitting on the toilet of the restroom..?"

"CLARKE!" she actually had to take the phone away from her ear, such was high the shrill that came out from her friend, she kept it away for a while even if she could tell that Raven was blabbering something on the other end, certainly about how her habit to hide in the restroom whenever something overwhelmed her was NOT okay.

When she couldn't hear angry noises coming from her phone she wearily accosted it to her ear.

"Raven?"

"You didn't hear a thing of what I said, right?" Clarke sighed

"Ray-"

"No, it's fine we can talk about it another time. NOW. You go out there and you introduce yourself to the cute guy and have a little fun time with the stranger, okay?"

"but-"

"Wrong answer. There's no 'but' the guy closed the fucking book. He wanted to talk to you. So now you go there and talk to him. Done." The line went dead.

Clarke remained with the phone still attached to her ear trying to figure out what just happened..

_Did she just hang-up on me? _

She got up from the toilet and looked herself on the small mirror above the tiny sink. That stupid grin was still on her face.

That was such a Raven thing to do that she shook her head still amazed that after five years of knowing each other, her friend could still surprise her in her weird way.

When she got back to her seat, he actually stopped reading again and looked up at her. She must've had the goofy grin still on because as soon as he made eye contact he grinned back. Already feeling a flush creeping out on her neck she moved her laptop on the seat beside her and plopped heavily on hers. She bit her bottom lip and glanced back at him

"I'm Clarke" She said holding out her hand

He held his eyes on hers for a while longer before he scooted closer to take her hand and shake it with his, which she couldn't help but notice how big was compared to her tiny one "Nice to meet you, Clarke" He gave a little squeeze before letting her hand go and settled back on his seat "I'm Bellamy" the teasing smile never leaving his beautiful face.

They kept grinning to each other like dorks before Clarke suddenly felt self-conscious and desperately raked her brain for a topic to talk about

"I like your freckles" she blurted out.

When she realized what she'd said, she opened her mouth to say something, _anything_, but closed it again, eyes wide, and watched helplessly how at first, he arched an eyebrow surprised and then laughed, so loudly that the sound filled the whole carriage, that anyway as she took a quick look around, was occupied only by the two of them.

"There's an explanation for that.." She tried to amend awkwardly when his laugh quieted down a bit

"Oh, please do tell me"

Why the heck did she had to say that? She did not have a good explanation.. well not besides the truth.. She was so going to kill Raven. This was all her fault.

"I draw." She exhaled, annoyed with herself that she could barely formulate a full sentence with this stupid and impossibly handsome random guy, she is not that type of girl, she set her jaw and looked him square in the eye "…and, well you're cute"

He did that thing again, when he just looked at her for a while and then scooted closer, giving her a better view on his adorable freckles, he obviously had caught her, because when she looked up at his eyes, he was grinning again "Thanks, but I think you're way cuter than I am."

"oh?" she said dumbfounded. "Ugh, I mean, so.. can I draw you?" she frowned "Oh my god, I probably sound like a creep,"

_Uh-oh this is getting awkwaaard _

She could actually hear it. Raven's voice in her head. Damn her! She was so going to pa-

"Well, I still think that you're the cutest creep I ever met, so.. okay"

She immediately threw her head up at that "What?"

He chuckled a little awkwardly, and god she wished, in that moment, she could _draw_ that lovely sound too "I said, okay.. You can draw me, if you really want to.."

She didn't even try to pretend to hesitate, she dived in her bag for her sketchbook and her pencil case and settled back on her seat with her ankle on the other knee and a new sheet ready to be filled with the stranger's details, on top of it. When she looked up at him again, he looked.. Distressed, and she froze.

Oh my god. _Now, he definitely thinks I'm a Creep._

"..How-" he cleared his throat awkwardly "What am I supposed to do..?"

"Oh.. You can read, if you want.. Actually, now that I think about it.. I'd prefer it.."

He nodded and opened the book.

After some time had passed, that Clarke took to shape his contours on the sheet, she noticed that something was off.

"if you don't want me to.. you really don't have to feel obliged.." She said softly putting down her pencil.

He looked up surprised and she smiled a little "You're all tense, and it reflects on the drawing.. and besides I don't think I heard the sound of pages being turned.."

"Oh.. I'm sorry, Truth is.. I never did something like this before.."

"Oh, you mean like being asked by a random-crazy-creepy girl met on the train, to pose so she can draw you and your gorgeous freckles?" She asked cocking her head a bit.

"You know for someone who gets embarrassed very easily you really got no filter when it comes to praise my freckles"

She made a face and start to put away her drawing stuff

"I know its seems impossible to believe right now, but I swear to you, I'm not this awkward usually.. Well, at least I think so.."

He chuckled, some of the stiffness leaving his body, making her stomach do a weird flip-thing.

She was definitely going to draw him as soon as she got to campus, she had a good memory for details, and anyway she doubted she could ever not remember him, but of course she wasn't going to tell him that. She had already filled her creepiness tank for today.

It would be her little secret.

"What were you reading?" she asked gesturing to the book still on his lap

He picked it up and held it towards her "The book thief"

"Oh, I saw the movie.. Beautiful but gee so sad.."

"Yeah, no spoilers, please"

Her eyes widened and she held up her hands "Wouldn't dream of it.. I hate spoiler-people"

"Yeah, tell me about it, my sister is one of them.. She does it all the time just to piss me off.." He said rolling his eyes

Clarke nodded "I know! My roomie is the same, sometimes she search the thing on internet just so that she can spoil it to me.."

They stared at each other wide-eyed for a while and then laughed.

"We are surrounded by annoying people"

"mhm.. yeah but at the end of the day we can't help but love them" He said with a small smile.

"I guess you're right, Raven's one of my best friends"

He cocked his head and just looked at her. She was dying to know what was he thinking about, but hell if she was going to ask him.. She glanced on the seat beside him and blinked.

"You play?" She asked pointing to the guitar case she just had noticed

"Uh.. yeah.. actually I-"

_**Ladies and Gentlemen, we inform you that we have just arrived to Cambridge.**_

Her eyes widened

"Shit! That's my stop, this is my stop! How on earth are we already here?!"

She shot up standing and frantically gathered her laptop, her headphones and coat and beanie that she had stripped from when she got on the train. The doors opened. She looked at them and then back at Bellamy "I have to go.."

He got up and gave her hand her squeeze "It was a pleasure to meet you, Clarke"

She smiled "Mine too.. Okay I really need to go now.." She ran out of the carriage and waved but froze as she watched him come to the doors… _Was he..?_

"I'm sorry for the drawing!"

The doors closed. She grinned and shrugged bringing her hands up, so he could see the gesture clearly.

When the train left she frowned as she realized something. Their carriage remained empty for the whole time they were on it. That meant that there was only the two of them, and he had chosen to sit on the seat across from hers..

And she didn't even know what stop he was going to get off at or his last name for that matter.. no Facebook stalking then..

With a strange ache in her chest she turned and started walking towards what she now regarded as her second home.


	2. Love, Clarke

Chap 1

_No. This is not working._

Exasperated, Clarke curled the sheet in a ball and tossed it in a corner of her room, where other paper balls were scattered on the floor.

She slumped, resting her head on the back of her chair and pinched the bridge of her nose.

She had barely a week before her dad's birthday came around and she was nowhere near on finishing her gift. Truth was.. She hadn't even started it.. Or well she'd tried but she just couldn't get that _something_ right. And the most annoying thing was that she had drew them so many times but now it seemed that her hands didn't know what they were doing anymore

"UGH"

She opened her eyes and drew in a deep breath through her nose and then out from her mouth.

Her lips curled up a bit while she studied the sketch pinned on the wall just above her desk. The one that she had done as soon as she'd been back in campus, while Raven went on chattering about some new guy that she'd met, who of course was a big pain in the ass.. She hadn't pay that much attention at the time, but the name was hard to forget because since that moment all Raven did was complain about that stupid "Fuck-Wick".

It was one of the bests according to her father, and for the first time –for him all her drawings were the "Best"- she had agreed with him. She loved how it turned out. It was the first sketch that she was absolutely content with, but then again, she suspected was all the subject's doing.

It had been five years since that day on the train, where she'd met him, _Bellamy_.

Her eyes focused again on the screen of her iMac and she sighed. She was trying to sketch from her favourite photo of her father and her. She must've been three or four years old and she was squeezing her dad's neck with her tiny arms, pressing her cheek to his, the both of them looking at the camera with the hugest grins ever seen.

Suddenly her skype opened and Raven was there.

"Hey Gurl!"

She stared at the screen wide-eyed "How the hell did you do that?!"

Raven feigned confusion "What?"

Clarke gave her a pointed look "Raven."

Her friend rolled her eyes and smile sweetly "tricks of the trade..?"

She snorted and shook her head "Whatever.. What's up?"

Raven leaned to the camera and smiled "I've got news.."

"Oh my god, that's your evil grin.. I'm afraid to ask.."

"Ow Shut Up! I found a job!"

Clarke frowned "Okay.. But you already had one.. I thought you liked working there.."

Raven shook her head vigorously "No! You don't understand, this job I found is even better! It's in London!"

Clarke let out high pitched shriek and jumped out of the chair while Raven laughed

"You're coming back?!"

"YES!" her friend yelled.

Jake and Abby came practically crushing through the door with a wild look on their faces

"What happened?" They asked in unison

Raven giggled "I'm coming back!" She yelled again through the speakers.

The pair looked from the pc to their grinning daughter

"She's coming-"

"Yes!" Clarke jumped-hugged her dad giggling while Abby laughed and went to talk to the other girl.

"Do you have a place to stay?" Clarke turned away from her dad and stood near her mother that in the meanwhile had stolen her chair

"I'm still looking" came the response from the other end

"Stop then, you'll stay with us." Her mother said in a way that didn't take any objections.

But of course Raven being Raven had to make some "No, I can find a plac-"

"Oh c'mon Rey! We have a spare room! It's perfect!" Clarke interrupted, excited

"But-"

"You're family Raven. When will you get this in that stubborn head of yours?" Her dad silenced her coming to stand behind her mother, with his hands on his hips.

Clarke saw her friend's eyes shine just before she dropped her head in defeat –and she suspected to hide the tears that were threatening to fall- and then looked up beaming

"Okay" Her mother threw up her hands in victory and Clarke high-fived with her dad while Raven laughed.

After according all the details of her best friend's return she went with her mom to fix something to eat for lunch

"Clarke!" came her father's voice from the living room.

She looked at her mother with raised eyebrows but she just shrugged.

"What is it?" She asked coming behind him.

When he didn't respond she walked to stand in front of him and watched him with her hands on her hips, when she still didn't have any response she furrowed "Dad?"

"Freckles" He whispered wide-eyed staring at something behind her.

She gave him an odd look "What?"

Her dad looked at her then, and with a crazed expression gestured to the TV.

She turned still confused "The hel- oh.. Oh My God" she felt her heartbeat speed up and then stop all together as she realized who had reduced her farther like a big version of a hungry _Slender-Loris_. Suddenly _freckles_ made sense.

And she had a strange urge to laugh like a maniac and curl up in a ball and cry, all at the same time.

It was a program on the emerging band called "Sky People" of whom she happened to have listened and loved multiple songs through the last few years, but never come around to actually search the guys and see what their faces looked like.

He was the lead singer.

All these years when sometimes she oddly ached to hear his low chuckle again, she could have if she'd bothered to go on google and find an interview of them.

She had listened to his voice over and over again without even realizing it.

"Oh. My. God." She tumbled on the floor with her hands on her knees

"What's going on here?" Abby questioned eyeing her husband's and daughter's faces with a worried furrow-the same that had been on her daughter's just a couple of seconds before-.

They just had to point at the TV, then even her jaw dropped "Is that-"

"Yeah" Father and daughter said in unison.

Now they were showing a recent performance of the group, but Clarke couldn't see anything, her mind going a thousand mile per second,

_How? _

_He's Famous?!_

_Oh God._

_What the Fu-_

And then it hit her. The guitar.

"The guitar. He had a bloody guitar when I met him. Oh my God" She was aware that she probably sounded like a lunatic but she didn't care. Her brain at this point was reduced to a mush.

"You should write him" She looked at her father like he was crazy

"What?! N-"

"Like Love letters!" piped in her mother interrupting her

"Oh yeah, those are the best" added her dad with a dreamy look "Where did they end up? Do we still have them?"

"Of course we still got them! I'm sure they're somewhere in the attic.." Clarke watched her parents with a horrified look

"We should go find th-"

"Guys!" she yelled, finally getting their attention back "I am not going to write him a Love letter.. or any kind of letter for that matter."

Her dad gave her a small smile and patted the seat beside him on the sofa. She sighed and walked over him and sat. He took her hands in his "Fine."

She frowned "Wha-"

"But, I'm going to tell you something now. All right?" He waited squeezing her hands

She nodded and he took a deep breath "You were given a beautiful gift. You know how much I and your mother love your art. It's part of who you are, it's the way you always knew how to express yourself best, and it's beautiful." He said tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear "You don't need me to say that though, you already know. What you do not know is how much writing is beautiful too.

Oh Clarke, I assure you writing your feelings down even if it's only on a journal, it's something so _liberating,_ in a way.. I know, that as much as I want-We want, to be in your life, they're things that you keep to yourself. And it's fine. It's just the way it is. But sometimes these things tend to pile up so much inside of us that is almost too hard to breathe. Some people use music, others, like you, draw and then there's the ones that write. I don't need you to make examples of authors that made thousands of people cry, do I?"

She shook her head

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure you already a dozen of them in your mind.."

She snorted

"The point I'm trying to make is that.. Writing a letter to someone is a special, _unique_ feeling, that I assure you, you won't get talking or phoning or skyping or texting them. It's a whole other thing all together. You can express all that you're feeling in the best way possible, because you have time to actually sit there, and think about them, but at the same time you feel free to express them without fear of their reaction, because you're not actually there to witness it. And in my opinion, it's pretty marvellous."

Clarke stared at her dad for a while thinking over all the things he had just said and then cocked her head smiling "Sounds, kinda marvellous to me too.."

Jake gave her a full-right grin, squeezing one last time her hands before letting go "There you go then, kid.. My work's done here" he turned to his wife- that had a watery smile on her face- and put a hand over his tummy "All this wisdom made me hungry, what's to eat?"

Mother and daughter rolled their eyes "Dork"

In her room, she tried to do the sketch one more time. And this time she actually did it.

She stared at it for some beats, a slow, wide grin making its way on her face.

She had the sudden urge to tell someone, so she called Raven

"C'mon.. pickuppickuppick-"

"Sorry! Leave a message and awesome Reys will call you back!" Clarke sighed as she listened to her friend's recorded voice and hung-up

She tried for Wells. No luck even there.

Clarke laid on her bed staring at the ceiling.

_Bellamy_.

"Fine! Let's see what all that was about"

She took a sheet and sat at her desk.

_Dear__ Hi!_

_I don't know if you remember me.. I'm Clarke, we met 5 years ago on a train from London, I was the creepy girl that asked you to pose so I could draw you..?_

_Yeah, I don't even know why I'm doing this, but my dad.. He made this huge speech on how beautiful and amazing is to write a letter to someone.. that now, I guess, I'm curious to know what all the fuss is about.._

_And, also because I just discovered that you're famous. And now – even if I don't know if this will ever actually reach You- I have an address to send you something I wanted to show you even if it will probably make me look creepier than I already looked.._

She took his sketch down and took a photo and printed it.

_It's the sketch that_ _I couldn't finish because, __someone__ was too tense.. Well, I have a good memory so I completed it and this is how it turned out. _

_I'm keeping the original. It's one of my favourites._

_I'm sending you another one though, 'cause that's pretty much the reason I'm writing this letter. I just need to tell someone._

_You know when usually you know you're good at something, but then there's like this big challenge and it feels like you don't know what you're doing anymore? _

_Well that's how I felt, for, pretty much this entire week._

_It's my dad's birthday in a week and I wanted to make him this sketch of one of our favourite photos together, but for some reason, I just couldn't get it right. Every single attempt seemed worse than the one before. I was going nuts. But then, I tried again a couple of hours ago, and after not stopping even for a sip of water, I'd done it. And it felt glorious. I'm so excited, I want to tell and show everybody, but it's like everyone ditched the planet, so I'm writing you, 'cause you probably won't ever read this._

_Huh. My dad was right. It's weird. I kinda feel relieved in writing this down but at the same time I don't have to worry for someone to read it.. Maybe I should start writing a journal._

_I wonder what you're like, now that you're famous. I didn't know you that well before, but you didn't seem like an ass, I hope you haven't become one now.. 'Cause... I'll tell you a secret: No one likes ass-holes.. -I'm intending it as the bad word, not in the literal way.. even though.. I don't think someone like ass-holes in the literal way too, so I guess it's the same._

_Okay, time to end this letter before I write something weirder.. _

_Uh! Btw I love your band, I was a fan of your music before I knew who you were.. If that makes sense.. Anyway, I better go now. [My mom's having the night-shift and she'll probably ask me to go with her and do some extra work..]_

Clarke raked her brain for a way to conclude the letter but then puffed "Fuck it, I'm gonna go with the classic"

_Love, _

_Clarke_


	3. That's what my brother said

**For all for you that read and reviewed the last chapter, Thank you so very much!**  
><strong>I love you all.<strong>

Chap 2

_Beep beep. Beep beep._

Bellamy reached for the alarm, tapping blindly on the bedside table

_Beep beep. Beep beeeeeep._

_Why does it sound like a_

"Wha-"

"Bellamy! What the fuck man?! Answer the damn phone!" came Miller's gruff voice from a corner of the room

He finally raised his head and groggily opened his eyes to see where his phone –still ringing- was.

"What?" He grunted, after placing his phone on his ear and resting his other side of the face on the pillow

"Uh, someone's sounds awfully grumpy today"

Bellamy groaned "Octavia"

"Yes. Brother."

"It's-" He raised his head again to see what time was "6 am"

"..Time Zones.. Right.. Sorry?" If he wouldn't have had his eyes closed, he'd definitely roll his eyes

"What is it?"

"I have a job interview!"

"I thought you already had a job.." He said frowning, eyes still closed  
>"I quit it"<p>

Bellamy jumped up in a sitting position "You did what? Why didn't you tell me? Are you okay, whit money? Do yo-"

"Bellamy! Stop. That's exactly why I didn't tell you" Octavia sighed "You don't need to worry, I'm a big girl, and I can take care of my self."

He rubbed his face "That's not the point O. I'm halfway around the world and if something happens-"

"I know Bell, but listen to me. I'm fine. Really." She used her most reassuring tone "Besides, I pretty much have a job already.."

"You just told me you have an _interview_..?"

Octavia rolled her eyes "That's just a formality, I wrote a piece and sent it to them, thinking that at least I'd have tried.. But then I received their reply, and it turns out they love it so much, and want me writing for them as soon as possible"

Bellamy smiled, hearing her sister being so excited and happy always made his day brighter "What magazine, did you tell it was? I think I missed it"

Octavia giggled squealing "That's because I didn't tell you, yet!"

Bellamy arched an eyebrow "Go on then, don't keep me waiting!"

"It's for freaking VANITY FAIR!"

Bellamy, that in the meantime had the _awesome_ idea to take a sip of water, choked and coughed spilling half the content of the bottle on the bed.

"Bell? Are you okay?" came Octavia's worried voice from the other end

"Yeah, O! That's amazing!" He congratulated her slipping out the sheets and heading to the kitchen, he had almost reached the door when

"Ow,"

_Shit. _

He had stepped on someone.

"THE FUCK MAN?" Miller growled in the dark

"SORRY, sorry, I'm sorry.. I just need to go out"

Miller muttered angry obscene words and crawled to the opposite corner of the room with his pillow.

Bellamy didn't even remember how his friend end up on the floor. After their opening gig of their first big tour in the USA, the previous night, they had celebrated with a _couple_ of beers.. _or was it tequila?_ Anyway, then the rest was a blur. Now, he just hoped to not step on other members of his band.

"Bell, you there?"

"I'm here, O that's big" he said leaning on the small kitchen's counter

"I know! No more entries on make-up or gossip, I can finally actually see the world and write about it" His sister squealed again "Can you imagine? I feel like I'm walking on air"

Bellamy chuckled "Right now, I'm so proud and happy for you, I just wish I was there so we could celebrate together.."

"Aww, I know! Me too, but we'll do it when you'll be back!"

"Absolutely, We could grab a takeout and go to Eaton Park like when you were little, just the two of us"

"Oh, that would be wonderful.." He heard the sad note on her voice and his chest constricted "But, I'm no longer one to make illusions, so" she said more chirpily

He frowned "What do you mean?"

"Only the two of us, Bell?"

"Yeah.."

"Please. You and I both know that _That_ will never happen. I don't even remember a time when we ate a single meal just the two of us. The guys were always around. And sure as hell they will be on the celebration day.. they're like leeches or lice, hard to get rid of when you get them"

Bellamy laughed hard "If they heard you, they'd be so mad.."

She giggled "Nonsense, they adore me, I'm like the whole band's little sister, so.."

He smiled nodding "Yeah, I guess.."

"And anyway I was kidding.. I don't mind. When mom died I lost my mother but I feel like I gained other four brothers so.. I'm a lucky girl!"

"Aw, if Jasper had heard you, he would've bought you a castle"

"and Miller would've written a whole composition" she added amused

"Monty would've done something whit-"

"Flowers! Or no, he'd probably buy me a whole tree" Bellamy laughed.

"What about Murphy?" He asked

"Probably stab himself with a fork, so that he wouldn't have to hear such sweeeet words" She answered wide-eyed

He chuckled again and nodded "Probably"

"But then again, he's such a gooey pie deep down, you could never know.." She re-thought

Bellamy kept nodding, even though he was very aware that her sister couldn't see him "Also true"

"Listen Bell I have to go now, I'm in Liverpool street, I'll call you later or you call me, when you can, 'kay?"

"Sure. Good luck! Even if you won't need it"

"Thanks big brother.." She said warmly

Bellamy said good bye and ended the phone call.

"Dude did you pee on the bed, I'm all wet"

Bellamy turned to his friend "No! I spilled the water bottle" He said with a horrified look

"Huh. Good to know"

"Wait, where were you?"

"Under the bed"

"Why would you sleep under my bed?"

Murphy gave him a look "Well, you know, It's not like I remember since we got completely wasted or maybe you don't remember even that.. and beside did you see where Jasper is?" Bellamy shook his head slowly, afraid to ask "He's in the bathroom, on the toilet."

"How-"

"Don't ask" his friend said bringing up his hands "and frankly I don't even wanna know" Murphy added making a face.

Bellamy nodded, looking behind his band member. And then back at his friend. They stared at each other.

"I'm taking the couch" They said at the same time.

After that, was all a matter of who got there first.

Murphy won.

"And once again Murphy wins" he bragged bringing his hands up in a grand gesture for then flung himself face down on the so-earned-couch

"Prick" Bellamy muttered heading to the bed, hoping to find a dry corner.

* * *

><p><strong>[Clarke POV]<strong>

Clarke arrived at Liverpool station with her trusted mocha in hand, and looked up at the big screens bleary eyed to find the platform where her friend's train would arrive at.

It had been a week since Raven told her that she would've come.

A week where all she had done was eat, sleep her eight hours on the dot, and go to the hospital.

Her dad had gone to an engineering convention or something. She had had no wish to stay at home on her own, so she spent all the time she could with her mom.

But that night had been different, she'd barely slept an hour.

The previous day she had gone to the hospital with her mother like usual, for her training program but just as they were going to leave, there was an accident a couple of blocks away. The driver of a bus had had a heart-attack and crashed.

Clarke had never seen so many people with so many ugly injuries all at once. Her mother had been in surgery all night and she had remained to help the best she could.

When she finally found the number of the platform she turned to get to it but then she collided with someone spilling all the coffee

"Oh my God it's hot!" yelped a girl pulling to her blouse so that the fabric didn't touch her skin

"Oh my God, Sorry! I'm so sorry!" screeched Clarke with a horrified look

"Oh my god, What do I do now" asked the brunette to no one in particular, palming her head

"I'm so sorry, I'm such an idiot, I-"

"I'm supposed to have an interview, in like ten minutes!" shrieked the girl finally looking at her with an alarmed look "Oh my God! What do I do?"

Clarke thought quickly, the situation making her sleeping brain-cells wake up startled, "Come to the ladies with me" She said taking the girl's hand and pulling her through the throng until they'd reached it "Pull off your shirt" The girl gave her an odd look "That sounded wrong. Go in one of the cabins, and pull off your shirt, so I can give you mine." Clarke nodded to herself "That's better"

The girl gave her a quick smile still weary "And what will you wear?"

"Don't worry I have a jumper inside" she answered patting her backpack, "C'mon, the interview!"

The girl nodded and entered a cabin, Clarke doing the same

"Thanks, I really I appreciate it" came the voice from the other side of the metal wall

"Oh, it was my fault, so.." Clarke said flinging her tee-shirt to the other girl

"No, really, it wasn't.. I was distracted too, I had just ended a call and I wasn't looking where I was going.."

Clarke put on her sweater and got out the cabin at the same time of the brunette. They smiled at each other.

"Uh, you're taller than me" Clarke noticed apprehensively

"Oh don't worry, they'll look at it as a fashion choice. I'm Octavia by the way" the girl said holding her hand out

Clarke smiled brightly "I'm Clarke, so you're like a model?"

Octavia snorted, "God no.. I'm a writer, I'm having an interview with Vanity Fair"

Clarke gawked "Woah, That's Big!"

She smiled "That's what my brother said.. But, yeah I'm pretty excited!"

"I would be too!"

Octavia bit her lip "So how do we do for your shirt?"

The blonde remained silent for a while, thinking the situation through "Okay, you can give me your phone number and I'll give you mine, I'll wash your shirt today, and then we can meet somewhere whenever you can"

Octavia shook her head "You really don't need to wash my blouse, it's fine"

Clarke snatched the shirt away before the other girl could take it "No way, it was my fault, and if you're afraid that I'll ruin it, don't. I promise you, I actually became an expert in washing _delicates_ in my college years"

Octavia smiled amused, but not giving up yet "It's not that, I told you, it wasn't your fault!"

"Whatever, I feel guilty anyway, so please let me do this" Clarke gave Octavia her best puppy eyes and the other girl giggled looking away with a pout

"God, you're so terribly nice, and I bet that's the face that get you anything"

"Pretty much yeah.. But I use it only for good causes, promise" the blonde swore placing a hand on her heart

Octavia rolled her eyes, smiled shaking her head, and then exchanged numbers

"Oh God! It's getting late you have the interview, go!" Clarke screeched suddenly looking at her watch

Octavia jumped and ran outside as Clarke kept the door open for her

"I wish you the best of good lucks!"

"Thanks!" Octavia yelled looking over her shoulder with a grin.

* * *

><p>When Clarke finally reached the platform, she saw her friend waiting with a huge suitcase beside her. She ran towards her and surprise-hugged her.<p>

Raven laughed and held on tight to the friend that she didn't see for months "You're late, did something happen? You're never late" she then asked worriedly

Clarke stepped back "I know, sorry! You have no idea"

Clarke told her about Octavia and Raven shook her head smiling "Always saving people, huh?"

Clarke grinned "Saving people, hunting things, the family business"

Raven dropped her jaw "You did not!"

Clarke laughed "Supernatural is religion bae, but I'm afraid I can't save you from taking the tube, I can't drive, I had like an hour of sleep"

"Ow what happened, so excited to see me, that you couldn't sleep?"

"Mhm.. I'll tell you while we go"

When the girls arrived home, they quickly left the suitcase in Raven's room and went down to talk and eat junk food, while playing scrabble. It was a tie, they both made impossible scores, making points using specific terms of the things they were studying and each time, when one presented a word the other checked on the dictionary.

Clarke then told her friend about Bellamy.

"WUT? NO WAY"

"Tell me about it.."

Raven stared at her dumfounded "You serious?"

Clarke nodded "I listened to his music without even knowing.. I feel such an idiot"

Raven continued to gawk "Woah.. That's" she shook her head "I don't even know how to call it.." Suddenly she hit her thigh, her wide eyes lightened with a _Raven-idea_ (That in Clarke's head was another word for _Crazy idea_) "You should write him! I'm sure they have a PO box or something, or even better we can go to one of their concerts and stalk them and force him to see you so he ca-"

"Raven!" Clarke shouted "Stop right there. We. Are. Not. Stalkers. We're not going to stalk anyone." She said levelling her friend up with a steady look until she had nodded "And, besides I'm already writing him.." she then added in a mumble

Raven's eyes got even wider, Clarke thought distractedly if her eyes would pop out if she kept that going "You are?"

"Yeah, dad had the idea.. and yeah.."

Her fried nodded "Okay, cool. Wow, that was easy.."

Clarke puckered her brows "What's that supposed to mean?"

Raven looked at her shaking her head "Nothing.. it's just.. Usually we have to though world war three to make you do something that you think it's not _important, _I'm pleasingly surprised" Her friend beamed.

Clarke felt a stab of guilt but smiled nonetheless.

Later that night, when she was alone in her room she took some sheets of paper and with favourite pen she began to write.

_Bellamy,_

_Here I am again. A week has passed since I discovered that you are.. well, all that you are._

_A lot has happened, since then, but the most important thing is that, one of my best friends is here. Actually she's the reason why that day on the train I couldn't stop laughing.. _

_We have this running joke between us.. _

_When we were in high school, something happened to her so she came to live with my family, we weren't that friends at the time (which is so weird.. Now I can't even imagine my life without her) but my mother decided to take her under her wing, and after a while she became.. family. But, few knew of this arrangement, so when we started to come to school together, bring lunch to each other when the other forgot it, people started to notice, and that plus the fact that both of us oddly weren't interested in boys –I was constantly sticking my nose in a biology book or in a fantasy or romance novel, while Raven kept playing (meaning breaking to pieces and then putting them again to create something mindboggling) around with tech stuff- supposed that we were a couple. _

_Neither of us considered to deny. It was just easier. _

_When we got to Uni people started to well.. See me and her as -and I quote- a hot couple. _

_One day, while Raven was browsing the bookshelf and I was studying on a near desk ,in the library a guy came up to her –not noticing me- and said "I hope you know that you're lucky, sharing the room with Clarke.. and being her girlfriend and all.." and Raven just being her just looked at him and nodded with the most serious look I've seen on her and said "I know."_

_We are straight. If that wasn't clear.. Seriously though, I love her. She's an amazing friend and person and I feel so lucky to know her and have her in my life. She's been through awful stuff and even if I watched her cry and be hurt from this stuff, I've always see her as the strongest person I know. She's just awesome. And what's even better is that she knows it._

_Sometimes I wish I could be more like her, you know? _

_If I was ever put in the kind of situations she had gone through.. I don't know if I could be that strong.. I guess I'll know when it'll happen to me.. But God, I hope I'll never go through them.. I don't want to write something like this so that, then tomorrow I'll get a call saying that my mom died.. Okay, this is getting terribly depressing. _

_On a lighter note I didn't sleep today, because there was an accident and I had to stay at the hospital to help.. I'm a medicine student, I'm doing my training program at the hospital were my mom works.. but that wasn't that much lighter, was it? I just told you there was an accident.. Jee I'm so bad.._

_Anyway before I went to get Raven I –being my clumsy self- spilled a mocha on a girl. And I gave her my shirt and she was really nice.. It kinda gave me hope on girl-power, you know? Other girls would've probably yelled at me and clawed off my face or something if they were going to do an interview for Vanity Fair, but not Octavia.. I'm meeting her so I can give her shirt back after I washed it, and oddly I'm kinda excited, I want to know if she got the job. I really hope so, she seem like a really good person. And the world definitely needs a good voice to be described from. Does that make sense? Well that's how I think about it.._

_I kinda feel guilty, though.. I didn't send letter n 1.. Raven thinks I did.. Maybe I should number them, so if I send them all at once-in a moment of madness- you can see from where to start.._

_Okay so this is __letter n 2 (__don't worry I'll put it on the envelope too)_

_Well, That's it for today._

_Love,_

_Clarke_

* * *

><p><strong>Note for those who noticed that I didn't include Finn in the band.<strong>**  
><strong>**When I think of them, I just can't picture him in it, I see him more like a solo artist for some reason, and I see him playing the violin.. So I had this thing in my mind, that since Sky People is not really a full on Rock band but more like AlternativeRock/Indie electronic, like the Imagine Dragons, they could have duets with him or something.. I also have a list of songs that they would sing..****  
><strong>**Also I never thought that it would take this amount of words to write what I did, and as you could read, all of the characters have some kind of background that I want to explain, I kinda did with Raven's one, but not fully (I feel Clarke would never tell something that specific in a letter),****  
><strong>**So for these two reasons, since I'm not sure if I'll get to include them in the story (Even though I'll find a way) I created a blog on tumblr where I can post all "their" songs and their stuff... yeah..****  
><strong>**If interested you can check it out,**

** blog/letterstobellamyfromclarke**


	4. A little push

**Chap 3**

Clarke arrived at the station ten minutes earlier, so she sat on one of the benches near their meeting point and waited.

"hey!" someone tapped her on the shoulder giving her a fright "I'm sorry! Didn't mean to scare you!" Octavia smiled apologetically

Clarke giggled nervously "No, I was just surprised" She held up the book she had been reading "And completely sucked in the world in here"

Octavia smiled knowingly "My brother's the same.. Anyway this is your shirt" she said handing her a bag

Clarke grinned and handed her another "And this is your blouse"

Octavia took it and smelled it "God, it smell so good, Please let me buy you a coffee?"

"I have a feeling that you're not going to let me go until I say yes, right?"

"Absolutely."

Clarke smiled shaking her head "Fine!"

* * *

><p>"So you're a writer.."<p>

Octavia took a sip from her cappuccino and nodded "Yeah, I graduated from my local Uni and got a job with a couple of minor magazines here and there, worked well for a while, but then I realized I wanted more, and now I'm working for Vanity Fair!"

Clarke beamed "Your folks must be very proud of you"

Octavia smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes "My mom died when I was 16.."

Clarke gasped "I'm so sorry.."

"My father.." the other girl paused "Well, he's out of the picture.. It's only me and my brother.. He's pretty much the only reason why I came this far.. He dropped out of college so that he could take care of me" Now she smiled brightly "He is very proud"

Clarke smiled kindly "It's beautiful. I don't have siblings but if I had I would probably aspire to have a relationship like yours"

"Yeah, we're pretty close.. I used to feel guilty over the fact that he had to give up his dreams to keep mine from sinking, but now he's living one of the two so I'm pretty proud myself now"

Clarke hummed smiling taking a sip from her mocha

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I kept talking about my life, I blame it on the writer streak, apparently once I start talking I can't stop, it's like I have verbal diarrhea, It's a prob- oh, I did it again.."

Clarke burst out in giggles "My God, you and I are more alike than I thought"

Octavia grinned "Probably.. So what do _you_ do?"

They talked and talked for hours until Clarke received an instant message from Raven

_WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!?_

_YOUR DAD WILL BE HOME SOON_

_GET YOUR ASS HERE_

_NOW._

"Oh, gee"

"Something's wrong?" Octavia asked watching her carefully

"I have to go.. It's my dad's birthday and we're having this little surprise party" Clarke said getting up

"Oh, of course!" Octavia shot up and offered her hand again "It was a pleasure to meet you, Clarke"

Something moved inside her and she had a sense of déjà-vu. She stared at the other girl wide eyed

"Are you okay?" Octavia asked her with a worried frown

Clarke blinked and shook the memory of the train away "Yeah, just.. Nothing" she squeezed the other girl's hand "It was very nice meeting you too.." She let go of the hand and turned to the door

She frowned looking at the exit and then turning back at the other girl said "I really like you Octavia, I genuinely think that you're a good person and.." she made a face "This may sound creepy, but apparently my brain can't find a way to tell it in another way, so.. I just want to keep in touch and be like.. Friends"

Octavia smiled brightly "I'd love that, really"

"Oh? That's great!" the blonde exclaimed delighted "I have your number and you have mine, talk to you soon then" she said walking backwards to the exit

Octavia smiled nodding "Absolutely!"

* * *

><p>"Is he back?" Clarke asked as soon as she was home<p>

Raven came running to her and pulled her to the living room "Not yet, but he'll be here soon. What took you so long? I thought you were only going to give the blouse back"

Clarke looked at her contritely "Yeah but then we got coffee and-"

"Hey Knobby!" Raven rolled her eyes at the stupid nickname their friend used to call Clarke

The blonde looked around with her eyes wide "Wells?"

"I'm on the side table, I think.."

She sighed when she saw the laptop and walked over it "You know, it would be nice to see you in the flesh.. It's been like six years! You do know that's a lot, right? How can I know if you're real or a.. Hologram or something?"

"Mhm yeah, I could be a shape-shifter" He joked wiggling his eyebrows

Clarke huffed looking at Raven that just shook her head amused "I'm serious, Wells"

He sighed "I know, can we just not do this today?"

Someone ranged the bell and they all held their breath until Abby's voice greeted their neighbours

Clarke looked at the camera "Looks like your dad's here"

She got up and went to greet them.

After a tense exchange between father and son on skype, it was only a matter of minutes before they all heard the key being turned. They hurriedly switched off all the lights and waited in the darkness.

"Hello?"

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" They all screamed as soon the light was back on.

Jake laughed with a hand over his chest "You guys gave me a heart attack"

Abby laughed and went to kiss his husband "Well come back"

After hugging Clarke he looked over at Raven "Well, now that I have my engineer buddy back I won't feel so lonely when these two"-he said pointing at mother and daughter-"go on full crazy medic stuff" Clarke and Abby rolled their eyes while Raven laughed going to hug him

"Happy birthday mate, we're getting old huh?"

Jake snorted "Maybe you, not me!" he pointed at himself "There's a child that never grows up in here"

"Happy Birthday Mr Griffin!"

Jake looked around confused until his friend pointed at the side table "Oh, Hello there! Thanks!"

After they all had a piece of cake (chocolate of course) it was time for the presents. Clarke gave hers last

"Oh kid, it's beautiful" her dad breathed in wonder staring at it

"You say it every time I show you a new one" Clarke smiled rolling her eyes

"On no, this one is even better than freckles, I'm definitely going to frame it!" He exclaimed enthusiastic

Raven laughed and muttered under her breath "You should frame your one too.. _freckles?" _

Clarke blushed and elbowed her friend making her giggle.

* * *

><p>Later when the party became a little too <em>old<em> for Clarke and Raven, they decided it was time to leave the _fun_ and go to their rooms.

Clarke's hand was itching for a pen for some reason. She couldn't wait to write.

_Hey Bellamy!_

_I'm probably grinning like a weirdo right now, but I'm just.. So Happy._

_I feel great. It's one of those perfect days when you feel that the planets are aligned, the stars are brighter than the usual and all is going to be great._

_I met with Octavia today, to give her shirt back and we talked so much, it felt like we'd known each other for ages, I also had this weird moment when she said something to me and I completely spaced out because she reminded me of you.. Crazy right? Anyway we'll keep in touch, so that's great. And.._

_Today was my dad's birthday. We surprised him with a little party and it was wonderful. I felt like when I was younger when all of us were home, the only bugger was the absence of Wells (my other best friend). He's a year older than me so he left school a year before I did and that also means that it's been six years since I saw him in person. _

_I used to feel sad about it, but now every time I think about it, I get so mad I want to punch him in the face.._ _Okay, this is turning in an angry letter very fast, so let me stop right here._

Her laptop lit up with a Skype call from _Wells_

_Talk of the devil.._ _He's calling, I gotta go.._

_I hope you're having a great time in the USA,_

_Love,_

_Clarke_

Clarke put down the pen and accepted the call "Hey"

"Hey, how's the party going?"

"For them great I think, but for me and Raven it moved too much in Adult-over-50 territory so we left early"

"Ow, did they had too many beers and start playing at 'Who am I?'"

Clarke cracked a smile "You got it"

Wells laughed shaking his head

"Wells, why are you not here?" Clarke asked point-blank

"What?"

"You heard me."

He sighed "I told you, I don't wann-"

"Well that's too bad Wells, because I want to have it. What is it? It's like Edinburgh so much better that you don't want to come home at least once in a while?"

"No! That's no-"

"Then why? Six years, Wells. And don't use the stepmom bullshit excuse, cause I had the possibility to know her and she's not half as bad as you think. Did something happen?"

"No! Yes, oh god" Wells nervously rubbed his face and sighed

"Wells.."

"I can't tell you Clarke" He said after a moment of silence

Clarke lost all her anger and looked at the screen hurt "You don't trust me?"

"Clarke.. I just.." He sighed again closing his eyes

"Wow," She swallowed her hurt and looked directly at the camera "I thought that even if six years had passed since we last saw each other, we were still best friends. You used to tell me everything. But now, I see.. it's not like that anymore, is it?"

"Wells?" someone called her friend from the other end of the line

"I have to go.." Wells looked at her though the screen sadly

Clarke nodded, her eyes wet "Okay, don't bother to call next time"

"Clarke, wai-"

"Bye" she ended the call and rested her forehead on the desk, squeezing her eyes shut.

_Did I just said goodbye to my oldest friend forever?_

"Hey.." Clarke turned towards the door where the voice came "I heard angry noises, was it Wells?"

She nodded and then her face crumpled "I lost my oldest friend"

"Oh Clarke" Raven came over her and hugged her "I'm sure that's not true, something's happened and he's just too boneheaded to admit it"

Clarke nodded pulling back "But why? He knows I'd never judge him"

Her friend shrugged "I don't know, maybe's something too big" she considered leaning on the desk

Clarke thought over Raven's words,

_What would be so big that he couldn't tell me of all people?_

"Uh, is that a letter?" her friend asked walking over the other side of the desk

"huh?" Clarke asked dumbfounded

"You're really writing him!" He friend exclaimed overjoyed but frowned as soon as she glanced down at the drawer where the other two letters were, she picked them up "You put the address and all but you didn't send them.. Why?"

Clarke opened her mouth but closed it again "Please, don't be mad, I jus-"

"Clarke, I'm not mad, I just wanna know why.." she said with a little smile

Clarke sighed "I don't know.. I'm stalling I guess.. As soon as I send them they'll become real, and if he doesn't reply.." she pinched the bridge of her nose and got up "Just leave them there, I'm gonna go to bed"

Raven nodded "Okay, good night" her friend left the room and she threw herself on the bed and fell asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow.

* * *

><p><em>That was awfully too easy..<em>

Was the first thought that came through her mind.

She frowned opening her eyes, she looked at the time _09:48_. She hadn't slept-in since ages and it felt an odd mixture of incredibly resting but at the same time unsettling. She was starving.

When she got up from the bed she remembered her first thought of the day and with her eyes wide open she ran to her letter-drawer.

It was empty.

She stood up and looked on the desk. Nothing but her laptop and her usual stuff, until she saw the note

_Don't hate me. I'm doing it because it's the right thing._

_I know you know it too._

_I'm just giving you a push, like always._

_Xx Rey_

* * *

><p><strong>Hello Lovely readers! I just wanted to thank you guys for your support, it really means the world for me, and reviews give me an incredible boost when it comes to write, so THANKS.<strong>

**Also, wanted to warn you 'cause shit's gonna go down soon.**

**Just throwing it out there..  
>I love you all.<br>xx El **


	5. I'm proud of you

Chris, their manager, entered the room with a huge bag full of letters.

"Hey buddy!" greeted Jasper helping him in "Wow, that's a big bag.."

Chris snorted "There're like other four bags like this"

The boys gawked.

"I guess we really became that famous, huh?" Murphy muttered with a little smile.

Chris looked around "Where's Bellamy?"

"He's under the shower"

Their manager nodded "Okay, will you guys help me with the other bags or what?" the boys complied and when they were back in the room, each one of them picked up an envelope and started reading.

"Dear Bellamy"

"Dear Bellamy"

"Dear Bellamy"

"Oh okay, is one of these _not_ to Bellamy?" asked Monty raising an eyebrow

Chris shrugged and then remembered something "Try these, they came just as I was leaving, I think they're all from the same person" He said pulling out a bunch of envelopes from his coat pocket, there were four of them.

Each of the boys took an envelope and opened it without seeing who the recipient was supposed to be

"Oh someone cut the Dear" Jasper smiled continuing to read

_I don't know if you remember me.. I'm Clarke, we met 5 years ago on a train from London_

He frowned.

Murphy read the first sentence of the letter he had

_Bellamy,_

_Here I am again. A week has passed since I discovered that you are.. well, all that you are_

And then stopped, it was meant for Bellamy. He took the envelope again and look who the sender was, then blinked.

_Hey Bellamy!_

Miller stopped reading there and he too looked at the sender. He frowned.

Monty didn't open his envelope, as he was the only one to have checked who the sender was before actually open it and he also frowned.

"Bloody Hell"

They all looked up and stared at each other wide-eyed

"Could it be?"

"Clarke as Train Clarke?" asked Monty

Jasper read his letter again and took out the drawings "Clarke as train slash artist Clarke" He said holding out the drawing of their band mate

They all gaped at it.

"No way" Murphy mumbled, a small laugh escaping his lips

"Who's Clarke?" Asked Chris raising an eyebrow at the boys' reactions

"She's.. Bellamy went on a song writer's block because of her.." Murphy told him running a hand through his hair

Jasper shot up "You guys! This is perfect!"

"What is perfect?" Asked Bellamy, coming to the living room drying his hair with a towel

They all shut up and just stared at him. He raised both eyebrows and put his hands on his hips "What? You guys look like you've seen a ghost"

Chris observed the scene amused "Does the name Clarke tell you anything?"

Bellamy swallowed and laughed nervously, shifting his weight on the other foot "What?"

His manager just shrugged and nodded at the sheets that Jasper was holding wide-eyed.

Bellamy felt his heartbeat quicken and swallowed again, his throat drier than right after finishing a gig.

He exhaled and walked over his friend

"Dude.." Jasper begun but Bellamy shook his head and held out his hand

Jasper closed his mouth and gave him everything. Slowly the other guys got up and gave their envelopes. Murphy gave him a little squeeze on his arm and he looked up, he had a wide grin on his face, Bellamy pushed him aside and made to go to his room, but just before he closed the door, he heard them snicker and jasper singing "Love is in the aaair". He banged the door so that they could hear it.

He sat on the bed and laid the papers on the mattress, putting them in order. He smiled thinking of the fact that she'd numbered the letters.

He took a deep breath and begun reading the first one.

When he read about the drawings, he picked them up. One was of him reading that day on the train.

_**She is good.**_

He thought with a little smile.

He glanced at the other and his smile turned in a full right grin.

It was one of the most adorable things he had ever seen.

The little girl was obviously her and the man she was attached to like a monkey, he assumed was her dad. He shook his head smiling returning to read the rest of the letter.

He settled himself better when he took out letter #2.

_Bellamy,_

_Here I am again. A week has passed since I discovered that you are.. well, all that you are._

He raised his eyebrows.

_[…] One day, while Raven was browsing the bookshelf and I was studying on a near desk ,in the library a guy came up to her –not noticing me- and said "I hope you know that you're lucky, sharing the room with Clarke.. and being her girlfriend and all.." and Raven just being her just looked at him and nodded with the most serious look I've seen on her and said "I know."_

He chuckled. This Raven seemed to be pretty awesome.

_[…] I'm a medicine student, I'm doing my training program at the hospital were my mom works.._

Huh. So she's a future doctor.. He thought about it for a while then decided that it fitted, even if all this time he thought at her as an art student, for all that can-I-draw-you business.

_[…] I –being my clumsy self- spilled a mocha on a girl. And I gave her my shirt and she was really nice.. It kinda gave me hope on girl-power, you know?_

He took his water bottle and continued reading while drinking.

_Other girls would've probably yelled at me and clawed off my face or something if they were going to do an interview for Vanity Fair, but not Octavia.._

He choked on the water and got up before he spilled the water on the bed again.

He remained still for a while.

"Dude? You okay?" came Miller's voice from the other side of the door

"Yeah" He said wide eyed still thinking over what he had just read

"Cool"

Bellamy walked to the bed again and picked up the letter.

How many Octavia that were a journalist and recently did an interview for VF could possibly be there?

He took a deep breath and picked up the third letter.

_[…] I met with Octavia today, to give her shirt back and we talked so much, it felt like we'd known each other for ages, I also had this weird moment when she said something to me and I completely spaced out because she reminded me of you.. Crazy right? […]_

"Oh God" he swallowed staring at her words. She had written this letter a month before.

If he was right his sister had known her for a month.

He took his cell phone and called Octavia

"Hey Bell" came her chirpy voice

"O. I need to ask you something.."

"Something's wrong, are you okay?" Octavia immediately turned concerned

Bellamy shook his head even if she couldn't see him "I'm fine. It's.." He rubbed his face and exhaled

"Bell?"

"Do you know a girl named Clarke?"

His sister remained silent for a while "Oh. My. God. I knew it. She's the girl you met on the train, the girl that wanted to make you a portrait. Clarke" Octavia laughed "Bellamy it's so PERFECT" she squealed delighted

He slide off the wall and crouched palming his face "How long have you known her?"

"A month.. Wait how do you know that I know her?"

"She wrote me some letters.."

"Bell. This is great. I can give you her number. And you can see her again!"

He shook his head amazed "How many are the chances?"

Octavia laughed "I'll tell you. It's destiny. You're meant to each other."

"Woah, calm down there, match maker. I barely even know the girl"

"Yeah, you barely even know the girl but you written a song for her."

Bellamy scowled "I did not write a song for her."

"But you tried. And you wouldn't shut up about her for weeks. Remember how Murphy would bang his head on the next near surface as soon as you'd mention her name?"

"Yeah, fuckin' traitor drama queen, he's the one that told the others"

Octavia laughed "Bellamy. You wanted to see her again for ages."

Bellamy exhaled. The truth was that he didn't need any further convictions. He was dying to get that phone number.

"Okay"

Octavia squealed and gave it to him "Bell can I tell her?"

Bellamy eyes widened "No way! You don't tell her anything. I wanna talk to her first"

"Fine." He could imagine his sister pout and he smiled "But hurry up. I can't wait to see you guys in the same place. She's awesome Bell"

Bellamy grinned "I know".

* * *

><p><strong>[Clarke POV]<strong>

Clarke plunged on the sofa waiting for her dad. That day they would've gone to an art exhibition for which Jake had found two tickets at the last second

"Clarke, did you see my hydrocarbons book somewhere?" asked Raven coming into the room

Clarke puffed and looked away "I didn't see anything of yours"

She felt she seat beside her dip "Ow c'mon Clarke, you cannot be still mad at me"

"I'm not mad.. I'm pissed off"

"Isn't that the same thing?"

Clarke heard the smile in her friend's voice and looked at her. Raven took her hands in hers

"You know, I did it because it's what I do, I look out for you, always"

Clarke sighed "I know but.. I told you why I didn't want to send them, besides he hasn't replied yet"

Raven gave her a squeeze "I got a good feeling about, this. Have I ever been wrong in this?"

Clarke raised an eye brow "Actually yes, like when you told me that I wouldn't catch a cold if I ran really quick under the pouring rain to go to the library. I ended up being in bed for a week"

Raven made a face "You were such a delicate flower, but since that day, if I recall correctly you haven't got sick, yet"

"Fine, but your gut sucks when it comes to _hunches_"

Raven puffed "Okay, do you have a bad feeling about it, then?"

Clarke thought about it for a while, and then shook her head reluctantly

Raven beamed triumphantly "See? I knew it! You're gonna meet, sparks will fly and fireworks and BOOM marriage and babies"

Clarke rolled her eyes and gave her friend a shove making her fall backward on the sofa laughing

"You ready, Kiddo?"

Clarke shook her head smiling looking at Raven, "Yep," She got up "Let's go"

Jake arched an eyebrow "Is she high or something?"

Clarke snorted "No, just Raven being her weirdo self"

"Oh you mean like you"

Clarke laughed and punched him playfully

"Hey Rey, looking forward to finish that conversation about micro-satellites in space"

"Sure thing" Raven said lifting her head "Have Fun!" she yelled just before father and daughter got out

"Sure thing!" yelled Jake back mimicking her voice making Raven laugh and Clarke roll her eyes.

* * *

><p>Clarke was admiring a painting of a breath-taking scenery when she felt her father's hands on her shoulders<p>

"It's beautiful, it makes me want to go inside the painting"

Jake hummed "You know, I always fantasied about you choosing art and coming to a place like this and see your art pinned on these walls"

Clarke smiled "I chose medicine because.. You know why"

"Ah, yes saving people, hunting things, The family business"

Clarke laughed "We should do a marathon some day and catch up with the last two seasons"

"Absolutely" she felt her dad nod over her head "Anyway, I wanted to tell you that I'm proud of your choice.. Well, I would've been proud whatever you chose, but to choose Medicine.. Wow that takes guts and I know you got loads of them, but I want you to understand something," Clarke turned to face him slightly frowning but still smiling "All your life you've been incredibly lucky, and I and your mother can't even begin to tell you how thankful we are for that.. But someday, I hope as late as possible, something will happen, it's life.. Sometimes is fairies and roses other times is goblins and trolls.." Clarke snorted "It's a mess but that's also the beauty of it, and even when it all seems bad and hopeless I promise that's not true, there's always something good, you just have to find the right prospective to see it. Do you understand?"

Clarke nodded

"There's always hope. Always." Jake tapped her forehead "Never forget that, okay?"

Clarke smiled "Okay. Now I bet you're hungry, though, aren't you? You always are after one of your wisdom-sharing speeches."

Jake made a face patting his belly "You've no idea"

She laughed and shook her head "C'mon then, let's grab something to eat and go home"

Jake grinned and put an arm around his daughter while they walked to the exit.

* * *

><p>"So, did you write any new letters for freckles?" asked Jake in the car<p>

"Not since the one I sent a couple a days after Raven sent the other ones.."

"Why not?"

Clarke hesitated "What if he doesn't respond?"

Her dad stopped at the traffic light and looked at her "Well, there's an infinity of possibilities, but I told you to write him, mainly because I wanted you to discover another way to express your feelings.."

Clarke snorted, "Mainly.." the traffic light turned green

"Yeah and also because I secretly wish to meet the guy that turned my all-I-care-about-is-my-degree-and-my-fantasy-novels daughter into a groupie"

Clarke hit him on the arm "I am not a groupie!"

"Ouch kiddo!" he glanced at her and gestured to the steering wheel "Driving!"

Clarke pulled out her tongue and he chuckled

"And also, I hope once you know him, I get to go to his concerts free, their music is awesome!" he winked and she laughed

[Boom Clap start playing on the radio]

"Oooh I love this song" Her father announced wide eyed, raising the volume

"Me too!"

Her dad stopped at another red light and they began to dance awkwardly to the music

_Boom clap_

_The sound in my heart_

_The beat goes on and on and_

_On and on and on_

Clarke laughed clapping her hands to the beat and turned to her dad, and in that moment she noticed the brightest light she'd ever seen, coming towards them, she didn't even have time to scream. All went black.

* * *

><p><strong>[Bellamy POV]<strong>

After he ended the call with Octavia he stared at the piece of paper were he had written the phone number, his heart rate speeding up only at the thought of dialing the number.

He took a deep breath and put it on his nightstand.

After doing twenty push-ups he picked it up again and dialed the number as fast as he could, before his bravery wore off

He held his breath but then frowned as nothing happened.

He tried again but the line was just.. dead.

He sighed and sent a message to his sister to send him the number again, in case he missed a number or something, but it was the same.

He bit his lip thinking what to do next, and before he realized what he was doing he was sitting on the bed with a white sheet and a pen. So he started to write her a letter.

* * *

><p><strong>Hey lovelies,for the ones that doesn't know where the quote "saving people, hunting things, The family business" comes from is from Supernatural.. it's like the second time I use it, I just love it so much lol and also..<strong>

**sorry for the cliffhanger..**

**but I love you really, your comments give me life.**


	6. We can't lose him

**Letter #4**

_Bellamy,_

_Oh God. I can't believe she did it._

_I hate her. How could she do that to me? I wasn't ready to send them!_

_Raven is the one that sent those first three letters.. God she didn't even give me the chance to edit them! I'm pretty sure I wrote something about assholes.. Oh God. If you read them, now you definitely think that I'm weirdo.. _

_Oh well, now there's nothing I can do about it, is there?_

_I kinda feel relieved too, though.. I don't have to think about it anymore, it's already done.. I won't tell her that, of course, or she's never going to let me live past it. But I think she knows it so.. Ugh._

_I thought I wouldn't write you anymore, after Raven 'betrayed' me, but I just read this book and I'm full of feelings.. But mainly I feel a mixture of anger and sadness.. I always end up loving the character that is going to die.. Like WHAT THE HELL! Why do the authors do that? Make us fall in love with a character and then kill them off? What's the point? And do they cry too when they kill them or do they laugh their head off, while making a toast with Satan? Ugh._

_I'm so sad. His death is also so incredibly stupid. But then again, almost every time they are.. _

_I remember that you were reading the Book thief on the train.. I read it too even if I already had watched the movie, and I wonder how did you cope with it? Did you turn into an angry ball of snot and tears like I did, or what? Because.. Gee that book is beautiful but damn. WHY? _

_Anyway I feel better now, my dad was right._

_I act like I don't care much of his 'pearls of wisdom' but really, I love it when he drops them every now and then, it's our father & daughter thing, and I love it._

_Well I think it's time to end this letter now,_

_Maybe I'll write more or maybe not.. I don't know.. Maybe I could just start to write on a diary if you don't reply, so I don't feel like a complete idiot.. We'll see._

_Hope you're doing okay,_

_Love,_

_Clarke_

Bellamy smiled reading the last letter she'd sent, for the hundredth time, while he waited in line at the post office to send his letter to her.

The others wanted to come too, oddly, especially Jasper but he had managed to sneak off their apartment while they were still asleep and now he was there, with his face starting to hurt, so wide his grin was. He just couldn't wait for her to read his letter and reply back to him.

"Next, please"

Bellamy looked up and went to the lady behind the counter and gave her the letter, so she could weigh it

"A Love Letter to your girlfriend?"

Bellamy stuttered "No.. a friend, I guess"

The lady arched an eyebrow but smiled nonetheless "It's nice to see youngsters send letters to each other, when now there're a lot of easier ways to contact each other.. When I was young letters were all we waited for.." she sighed

He smiled kindly "I can imagine, I like letters too"

The old lady looked up at him and then frowned "Are you that guy from.. what was it? Heaven people?"

Bellamy chuckled "It's Sky people, but yeah"

The woman's eyes lightened up "My niece loves you, can you sign something for her?"

Bellamy beamed "Absolutely"

After he had signed a post office shirt uniform for Alisha, Marianne's niece, he asked how much he owed for the stamp but she just waved her hand off smiling "Don't worry about it, I hope she'll reply to you soon"

He smiled taking his letter with the stamp on "I hope so, too"

After he'd said goodbye to the nice lady he went out and, holding his breath, slipped the envelope in the post-box.

* * *

><p><strong>[Clarke POV]<strong>

_They were at the annual Winter Wonderland at Hyde Park. She had a pink candy floss in one hand and with the other she was holding her daddy's._

"_Okay, let's take a picture" They both turned to look at Abby._

_Clarke grinned and jumped up and down with her arms outstretched "picture picture picture!"_

_Jake laughed "All right all right little monkey" He faked a groan and puffed when she was in his arms "You're so heavy!"_

_Clarke giggled and jumped again and again looking at her mom._

"_Honey, before tonight, if that's okay with you, lil monkey here feels a little too excited"_

_Abby rolled her eyes "Oh shut up!" she said laughing "Clarke, sweetheart give a squeezy squeeze to daddy"_

"_Oh no, not the squee- och, I can't breath"_

_Abby laughed "Now say squeeze. Both of you."_

"_SQUEEEEEEZE"_

Clarke sighed.

Her eyes seemed to be sealed shut and she felt like she was run over by a truck. Every single bone in her body ached like it had been broken and put back together. And her head… God her head felt like there were a bazillion of toddlers screaming in it.

Clarke sighed and passed out again, right after registering a faint beep of a machine nearby.

_There's always hope. Always. _

_Never forget that._

* * *

><p>Clarke knew something wasn't right. This wasn't her bed. And she had something in her mouth.<p>

The smell was familiar though. And so was the beeping sound that at the moment was irritating her beyond reason.

After blinking her eyes for a while to adjust them to the light she tried to move her head. She felt a wave of nausea coming up but she pushed it down screwing her eyes shut and grinding her teeth

She took a deep breath and opened her eyes again. Her mom was sleeping in what seemed the most uncomfortable position in the world, while holding Clarke's hand in both of hers.

Clarke slowly turned her head again, Raven was curled up on the sofa by the opposite side of the room, her head resting on someone else's shoulder.

"Clarke?"

She tried to speak and it was then that she realised that she had a bloody tube in her throat. She gagged and Wells shot up and yelled for help startling Raven and her mother awake.

Dr Lewis appeared then and mercifully took the thing out of her mouth replacing it with an oxygen mask. He looks down at her with a small smile "Hey Clarke, Well come back"

After they had done all the possible check-ups, her mom reached for her with a trembling hand and when Clarke leaned to her touch she let out a sob and kissed the top of her head "I was so afraid.."

Clarke tried to smile but then frowned "What happened?"

They all looked at one another "You mean, you don't remember?" Dr Lewis asked with a worried frown

"I.." she closed her eyes trying to remember "We went to that exhibition and then went to get something to eat.." She opened her eyes wide remembering the light coming towards them "Where's dad?" she asked turning to her mom, that in that moment started to sob again, Clarke swallowed, and turned to Wells who had the saddest look she'd ever seen on him "No. No!" she sat up then and pulled at the needle jabbed in her arm and tried to stand up. She had been so fast that for a moment all they could do was stare

"Clarke, wai-"

"NO!"

She felt someone grab her from her shoulders and she looked up to meet her best friend's eyes "Clarke, he's not dead"

She stared at him processing what he'd just told her and then frowned.

Her legs gave up then and she heavily fell sat on the bed, Wells sat beside her. She looked to her mom that was still crying. She'd never seen her mom cry so much. And she was scared because of it.

Clarke looked at Raven that was holding Abby "Why.. Why is she crying?"

"Clarke, I don't think you should-" Lewis began

"ENOUGH! I just want to know where my dad is!"

Wells took her hands in his and squeezed "Okay but you have to lay again, okay?" She looked him in the eyes, he held her gaze and finally she slowly nodded. After the medics attached her to the machines again she looked pointedly at him "Your dad was conscious when the paramedics came.." She swallowed "but he was hit pretty badly.. He wanted them to take you out first, so they did but when they came back he was going into cardiac arrest. They brought him back just in time.. he didn't wake up since then.. Clarke.."

Clarke shook her head "Go on"

Abby put a hand on Well's shoulder and he stood up, giving her his place on the bed "He keeps going in shock.. he has a lot of injuries.. his right arm was.." Abby blinked "They had to amputate it, they couldn't save it.. they tried, he went into shock again and now he's in surgery. It's his seventh since you came here.." She took a shuddering breath and Clarke squeezed her eyes shut.

"He's going to be okay" She said nodding to herself, "I made it through, so will he"

Abby smiled nodding "Yes.. He will"

Clarke frowned looking at Raven "How long have I been out?"

"Almost a week, six days"

Clarke gasped "He had seven surgeries in six days?" her eyes blurred as a sudden fear took over her "Mom?"

Abby shook her head and hugged her. "Mom.. mom.. what happ-ens if.. Oh my god" She struggled to breath then, her mom tried to calm her, but she felt like her very core had been turned into ice, making impossible to take-in air in her lungs.

She felt a jab in her shoulder and slowly the world blurred away.

* * *

><p>When she woke she didn't open her eyes immediately. She tried to relax her body and just exist for a while.<p>

After a while she heard a sigh and then she opened her eyes

"Hey" Raven stroked her hair with a little smile "You were out for a couple of hours"

Clarke nodded and looked around "Where're the others?"

"Your mom, is with your dad, he got out from surgery an hour ago.. and Wells.. he had stuff to take care of"

Clarke frowned "I had to end up in a bed in a hospital, to make him come back.."

Raven shook her head "He was planning to come right after your fight"

She arched an eyebrow "You surely seem to know something.."

Raven smiled tight lipped "It's better if he's the one to tell you.."

Clarke watched her friend closely and then nodded "Okay.." she sighed "How long do I have to be on bed rest?"

Her friend beamed "Not for long, actually, Dr Lewis said that you can go home tomorrow, they're keeping you overnight just to be sure everything's all right.." She nodded

Raven clasped her hand "Do you want to..uhm.. see your dad?"

Clarke took in a deep breath closing her eyes and shook her head "Tomorrow.." she cleared her throat "It's weird, one would think that after a week of sleeping I'd be rested, but I feel tired.. I think I'll sleep.."

Raven nodded "I understand"

She knew. Raven knew why Clarke didn't want to see her dad right then. She was afraid of what she would see. Seeing someone you love attached to machines with too many needles jabbed in them and a tube in their mouth, it's something you wish to never see.

It was a thing seeing it as a med-trainee, a whole other thing as a family member.

Clarke turned on her side and closed her eyes.

* * *

><p>When Clarke woke up and opened her eyes, the morning after, she was alone. But someone had been there and left a bag near her bed, maybe her mom or Raven. She slowly got up and made her way to the bathroom, she sighed when she saw her reflection. She had an angry looking bruise just below her hairline, her hand moved to touch it and she cursed herself when a numbing pain shot through her.<p>

_Okay, No touching head nor hair for a while._

She sighed again, that meant that she would have to walk out with a bird nest-like hair.

When she got changed in her normal clothes she heard a gentle tap on the door

"Come in"

"Hey," Raven came in "I brought you tea"

Clarke made a face but Raven stopped her before she could say something, raising a hand

"I know I know, Mocha Queen, but you just woke up from a coma, and tea's all you gonna have for a while"

Clarke puffed but reached for the cup nonetheless "Thanks"

Raven shrugged and sat on the bed, and waited for Clarke to do the same "You really feel okay?"

"Clarke smiled "Yeah, my head hurts a little, but it's normal I guess"

Raven nodded

"Raven, I'm ready.. I want to see dad"

Her friend nodded again and stood up "Okay, let's go"

When she was on the doorway of her father's room she felt an odd sense of dejavu. Her mom was in the most uncomfortable position in the world, but this time she wasn't watching her from the bed, she was standing watching her dad attached to too many machines and a tube in his mouth, she drew in a shuddering breath and approached the bed.

Her mom lifted her head and looked at her with a sad smile "I'm gonna go to get something, okay?"

Clarke nodded and took her place on the chair. Once her mother had left she drew the chair closer and took her dad's hands. She opened her mouth to say something but all that came out was a sob. She rested her head on his side and cried "I'm so sorry.. It- it's all my- fau-lt"

The beeping sound that until that moment was a steady _beep beep_ suddenly increased and Jake's body was shook by several convulsions, Clarke stood up tripping back the chair and stared wide-eyed.

The room was soon filled with nurses and doctors and she was pushed out of it

"Clarke!" Her mother cried running to her "What happened?"

Her face crumpled while she shook her head "I don't know! He-"

Abby shushed her and enfolded her daughter in her arms "Everything's going to be okay"

* * *

><p><em>Bellamy,<em>

_Why do bad things happen?_

_People say that it's because so we can truly appreciate the good that otherwise we wouldn't see, but that's not true for me. I always loved and been thankful for the good that is my life. _

_Then why is my dad in a hospital right now? _

_Right now the only thing that is keeping him alive is a machine._

_He went into cardiac arrest so many times that I lost count, he died in front of me, even if only for a couple of seconds, and I stood there, doing nothing, completely frozen._

_I'm supposed to become a doctor, Bellamy! How can I continue after today?_

_Theirs is this quote that I saw a couple of times that I hardly related to, because I never ever felt something like that, it said 'The worst feeling in the world is to see someone you love, loving someone else.'_

_It came to me today, and I disagree. _

_The worst feeling in the world is to watch someone you love die without you being able to do something about it. To feel completely useless to the ones you love._

_That's the worst. And I feel it right now._

_No one has the courage to say it, but I know that dad doesn't, exactly, have the odds in his favour.. _

_Huh, look at that.. I did a reference to the hunger games_

A teardrop fell on the paper blurring the ink

_If he dies.. I can't Bellamy. I just can't imagine a life without him. He's my daddy. How could I ever go on with my life without him?_

_How do people do it? Go on when someone they love dies? _

_The only thought of it makes me want to double over and scream._

_I try to keep it together though, I don't want Raven to hear me, she's barely holding up, I could see it today. She had that scared and hopeless look in her eyes, like when her mom died.  
>Oh God, She doesn't need this pain too, Bellamy, she's been through so much. <em>

_And my mom.. God in one night she had to go through the fear of losing her entire family.. At least I'm alive.. but _

_We can't lose him._

_One of the last things he told me was to always have faith. He told me that everything, in some way or another will always workout._

_I really hope he's right this time too._

_With love,_

_Clarke_

* * *

><p><strong><em>First of all, I'm sorry, I took longer than usual, but my monotonous life took the roller-coaster these couple of days, that + This Chapter+ Remember me.<em>**

**_Seriously, I wrestled SO much with the idea of killing Jake. Every single time that i had to think for myself, I would think "SO Jake? Lives or Dies?"_**

**_A moment I would think, "Okay I'm gonna kill him, 'cause I can write that", and then "No! I can't kill him cause I wouldn't have the possibility to write THAT!"_**

**_I sinceriously (Stephen Amell reference lol) made a chart, of pros and cons of him dying or living. And at the end I just don't know.. I left it open, but I kinda made up my mind.. I know where I want this story to go.. _**

**_and, for the sake of rambling, _What the hell was that episode?! My heart is in pieces like Bellamy's..**

**ANYWAY I will never stop to thank you guys for your comments. Every time I feel low I read your comments over and over again. SO Really Thank you!**


	7. Love, Bellamy

"_-rke"_

Clarke stirred under the covers.

Sleeping was so peaceful.

You forgot all your worries, your mind still in _dreamland_.

And god knows how much Clarke needed to forget all that happened even for just a little while.

She'd tried to continue her life normally, but going to the hospital to attend the training program, soon revealed to be useless as she spent all her time in Jake's room. So her mother and Dr Lewis decided to give her a special exemption for _family reasons._

It had been ten days since the day she woke up.

Her days went by with her waking up at 7:35 take a shower, breakfast, get dressed, go to the hospital to see dad and read him a book (This week was The Hobbit), have lunch with mom and Raven (whose workplace, fortunately, was a couple of minutes away), go back to sit with dad and talk to him about _anything_, and at 16:00 come back home and research _Stories of people who woke up from comas_, dinner, and then bed and dreams.

She had lost her old routine but at least, she thought, she still had one.

Her dad, luckily, didn't go into cardiac arrest since the day he almost died in front of her, and now he was peacefully, at least as it seemed from the outside, resting in a deep slumber. Now it was easier for her to pretend that he was only sleeping just a little longer than usual.

Now it was easier to dare to hope.

"-RKE!"

Many times she tried to write a letter to Bellamy, but for some reason she felt stuck.  
>The last letter she had sent, <em>letter #5<em>, she had poured her soul out, and that didn't happen usually, and certainly not with someone she had barely seen once…  
>The day after she had sent it, she kinda regretted it.<br>It was really, way to personal.. But on the other hand what are the chances that he actually receive it and responds to her? His band is getting famous by the second, and have loads of fans.. What are the chances of him finding _her_ letter? Close to none. She sighed in her sleep pushing down the stab of disappointment. She was thinking way too much for someone who was supposed to sleep and have pleasant dreams.

"CLARKE WAKE UP!"

She puffed hiding under the covers as she heard someone banging on her door

"Go away, I'm sleeping, my alarm didn't go of yet so, it's note time to wake up"

"You formulated a sentence way too long for someone who's asleep" another bang, but Clarke hided even deeper under the covers "CLARKE I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DO NOT OPEN THIS DOOR THIS SECOND I'LL FUCKIN' THROW IT DOWN"

Clarke sighed very loudly and ughed also very loudly and stomped to the door

"WHAT?" she demanded as she opened it

Raven that had been ready to throw down the only thing that separated her from her friend, quickly relaxed her pose and smiled brightly holding an envelope,

Clarke looked at it and then back at her crossing her arms "You woke me up for _mail_?"

Raven grinned "YES!" and walked past her, inside the room

Clarke took a deep breath, "MAIL?" She exclaimed not even trying to hide her annoyance

Her friend rolled her eyes "Oh Shut Up and read You FOOL" she held it to her

Clarke took it and now was Raven's turn to cross her arms, and she smirked as Clarke frowned.  
>It was a registered letter.<p>

"Well? What about it? It surely could wait until my alarm went off!"

"OH MY GOD" Raven threw up her hands "LOOK AT THE SENDER YOU DIMWIT"

"HEY! RUDE!" Clarke shook her head but did as she was told "Bell-" she sucked in breath "-amy Blake" she blinked and looked at her friend that was looking at her expectantly "OH MY GOD" Clarke began to move from one foot to the other like she was standing on hot coals flapping the envelope in her hand "Ohmygodohmygodohmygod" Suddenly she lost the grip on it and it flew in a corner of the room "OH MY GOD!"

Raven screeched "NO! WHERE DID IT GO?!"

"I DON'T KNOW!?"

They both scrambled on their feet and searched every corner.

Finally Raven whooped in victory as she was holding it in her hands. She handed it to Clarke again, but before Clarke could take it she pulled it back "Just, don't throw it away, will you?" Clarke shook her head quickly.

When she had the envelope in her hands again she took a deep breath and then began to open it.

She didn't know what she was feeling when she realised that he had written a lot. Inside the envelope there were three sheets fully written, back and front. And she was surprised, even if she didn't know why exactly, to see that his handwriting was _beautiful_.

She looked up at her friend that smiled encouragingly as she settled on the floor with legs crossed, that reminded her of a kid waiting to hear a story.

Clarke took another deep breath and with shakings hands turned the pages to find the first one.

"_Dear Clarke,_

_First of all, I'm curious, why don't you use the dear in front of my name in your letters? I'm not dear enough for you_?"

Clarke giggled and Raven smirked "This guy.. Surely knows how to start a letter"

"_Or is it (more likely I guess) that you think that is way too personal, for people that met only once?  
>Well, If that was the case, you might want to revisit your mention of ass-<em>" Clarke stopped as she felt her cheeks warming up and closed her eyes as embarrassment made her want for the ground to swallow her up

"Whoa, Wait a sec, you wrote about ASSES?" Raven laughed "Oh my God, what did you write, like how gorgeous his ass was, or something?" she doubled over in laughter

Clarke covered her face with one hand "Oh my god.. It's all your fault!"

Raven laughed even louder "I- I can't believe you wrote" she gasped to get the words out between her laughter "-bout asses"

Clarke pouted "Actually it was about Assholes.."

Raven stopped at that, and stared "YOU DID NOT!" she said as another fit took her

Clarke huffed and looked away

Raven managed to quieten down emitting a little giggle here and there and gestured her friend to go on

Clarke took another deep breath and looked for where she'd left off

"_Don't get me wrong, though, I actually enjoyed it. I laughed so hard that my eyes watered..  
>It was adorable really.. Please don't be mad at Raven, I'm glad she sent the letters so that you didn't have time to edit them, tell her that I'm deeply grateful"<em>

Clarke looked up and rolled her eyes when she saw the triumphant grin on her friend

"Fine! THANK YOU"

Raven only smiled wider and gestured to go on,

Clarke shook her head feigning annoyance but a smile managed to spread over her lips

"_And if it wasn't clear; of course I remember you, How could I ever forget the random-crazy [to use your words] girl that asked to draw me? (I'm leaving the creepy part out on purpose, because I don't think you're creepy at all, Awkward yes, but I happen to like awkward, so.._)"

"Aww, that's cute" piped up Raven with a smile

Clarke nodded with a little giggle, her face still hot, and continued "_By the way, I really loved your drawings, my favourite is the one of you and your dad, though.. You are really good"_

Clarke smiled and sighed sadly as she thought of her gift to her dad, the drawing that he had framed the day after his birthday and that now was resting on the side table of his hospital bed.

She felt a squeeze on her knee and looked at Raven "You okay?"

Clarke smiled and nodded "Yeah..

"_And that's why I was really surprised when you told, __wrote__ me that you were a med-trainee, I naturally assumed that you were an artist but then when I thought about it I guess, it just made sense.. You gave the vibe of someone who'd do anything to help others._."

She cocked her head. When she looked at Raven, she had a raised eyebrow too

"_Okay, that sounded weird.. But my sister_.. _Well, it's kinda unbelievable, I mean what are the odds? But you know my sister_" Clarke frowned

"_She told me of the day you spilled coffee on her shirt and lent yours after she told you that she had a job interview for Vanity Fair.._" Clarke's jaw dropped open as she read further "_Her name is Octavia_"

Clarke looked up and imagined that her face must be the same as Raven's, eyes wide and jaw on the lower floor

"No way!" Raven whispered bringing her hands up to cover her mouth "Among all the people that you could've spilled coffee onto, you spilled it on _HIS_ sister.." she shook her head with an amazed look on her face "Only you Clarke, only you"

Clarke blinked still processing what she had just read

"Octavia.. Bellamy.. She told me some things about her brother.. but.. I never-" she ran a hand through her hair "How the hell could I know that HE was her brother? How's this even keep happening? It's ridiculous!" She exclaimed massaging her eyelids

Raven laughed and got up to sit beside her on the bed "Here let me, please?" she gestured for the pages and Clarke gave them to her

"_Believe me I'm mind blown too, right now.. I mean seriously, what are the chances? I called her when I received your letters, after I read about your encounter.. and she gave me your number.. I actually tried to call you earlier, but the line was dead. So instead I'm writing you.."_

Raven looked at the date on top of the page and gasped, Clarke lowered the sheets and looked too, her eyes blurred "He wrote this the day of the ac-cident" she sobbed the word out and Raven put down the papers to hug her

"I'm so sorry" she whispered rubbing her back

Clarke shook her head and gathered herself "I'm okay.." she pulled back from the hug "I just..Damn his timing was awful" she said with a snort, drying her eyes

Raven smiled shaking her head "You could definitely say that.. It's a pity though.. the phone got crashed.. Now he doesn't have your number and you lost Octavia's.."

Clarke sighed "Again, awful timing.. There's nothing we can do about it.. is there?"

The girls thought hard for a while

"Let's just go on with the letter, maybe he says something that can help.." Raven suggested in the end.

"_I'm glad you wrote me Clarke, and I hope, once you receive this letter, you keep doing it. I see what your dad means about letters, they have a certain something that make them different from any other form of communication.. I kinda like letters too.._

_So, since your letters could go lost in all the other fan-letters and the fact that in these days we're in tour, I wrote you all the addresses of the hotels we're going to stay at, and also my address back home in Norwich, yeah I live a couple of hours from London, maybe one day we can see each other?_

_Okay, if you calculate the time a letter usually takes to arrive, we should be golden"_

Raven laughed "Oh my god, this dude is even more organized than you" she said teasingly

Clarke just looked at the other pages and nodded when she saw all the addresses of the various locations where the tour would performing at and how many days they'd be staying at each one

"Wow, he was serious" whispered Raven whit a snort

Clarke returned to the actual letter

"_I hope you're okay with the fact that O. gave me your number.. She did it in good faith.._

_Anyway, I guess I should end this letter now.._

_I hope you're okay,_

_Love,_

_Bellamy"_

"Well I guess, Now we do have a way to contact him, but that's doesn't change much does it?" Raven thought out loud and Clarke sighed "At least, now we know that your letter won't get lost in the hundreds of fan letters.." Raven said trying to be helpful

Clarke hummed "He really wants me to write him, he even sent it in registered mail.." she frowned "Why did it come so late then?"

"I think it got mixed up with all the other mail.. After the accident mail wasn't really much of a priority" Raven shrugged "I thought to settle them during breakfast this morning, and I found it"

Clarke sighed "I wish I could tell dad.."

Raven put an arm around her "You will, when he wakes up"

She smiled resting her head on her friend's shoulder and looked down at the papers again.

They both jumped when they heard the alarm go off.

Clarke laughed and turned it off.

Then the bell rang and they jumped again

"What the hell?" Raven exclaimed, while they both went downstairs.

Clarke just stared when she opened the door

"Hey" said Wells a little awkwardly

"You picked up babysitting while you were here?" asked Clarke snarkily, seeing as his supposedly best friend had a baby in his arms

Raven palmed her face and Clarke looked at her frowning "What?"

Wells cleared his throat "She's my daughter, Clarke"

She didn't have to process that because than another figure appeared and.. _Hugged her?_

"Clarke! I'm so glad that you're okay! We were so worried.." the girl pulled back and gave her a kind smile "I really hope your dad pulls through too"

Clarke just blinked and frowned again "Thanks.. Emily?"

The girl slapped her forehead "I'm an idiot, sorry, yeah.. I'm Emily" she held out her hand and Clarke shook it, still in a daze

Raven, seeing as Clarke looked more like a zombie right now, decided to take the situation under control, and opened the door wider "Please, Come in" she said pulling Clarke out of the way to make them space

When they were all in the living room Clarke looked at the baby of a year or so sitting on Raven's lap and then back at her best friend "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER?"

Wells clenched his jaw and drew in a deep breath, Emily looked away uncomfortably, Raven bit her lip and the little one just shrieked, like every excited baby does

"Well, I thought you knew how babies were born by no-"

Clarke held up her forefinger "You stop right there, I'm not having any of your snark. You know fuc-" she glanced nervously at the baby "-Freaking well what I mean WELLS JAHA"

Wells had the good sense to hold up his hands in surrender "I'm sorry" He took another deep breath "You're right.. It's just.." He closed his eyes and covered his face with both his hands

Emily squeezed his arm and looked at Clarke with a rueful smile "It's all my fault, Clarke really.. I was the one that didn't want anyone to know.. I'm 23 and still studying and my parents are racist assholes" the girl sucked in breath and clenched her jaw "All this time I felt as I needed to hide the most beautiful part of my life, but when I heard you and Wells fight the other day, I finally realized that I wasn't ruining only my life by doing so but his too, and I couldn't bear the thought of him losing you," She smiled "You're very important to him.. And when your mom called and told us what had happened to you and your dad, we dropped everything and came here.."

Clarke gave her a small nod and turned to her friend "What about your dad? Did you see him?"

Wells smiled "Actually yes he was there when we arrived to the hospital.."

Clarke winced "And how did that go?"

Emily laughed "Actually surprisingly well, it turns out that Thelonious Jaha has more than enough grandpa material, I would have never guessed with what he'd told me" she said giving Wells a little nudge

Clarke smiled "Tell me about it.." she looked at Raven who was making weird sounds to entertain the little girl, then back at the pair "So that's how Raven find out?"

Wells grinned and Emily snorted "Well, let's just say that she was really upset when she saw him, so she sort of almost attacked him and the only ones that could stop her were Amy and me"

Clarke looked back at Raven with a raised eyebrow

Raven gave her a sheepish smile "You know how I am.. I've a soft spot for babies"

They all laughed at that.

The doorbell rang again and Wells raised an eyebrow "You were expecting someone?"

Clarke looked at Raven but her friend just shrugged so she got up and went to see who it was

"Oh my God I'm so glad I found you!" Exclaimed a chirpy voice hugging her as soon as the door had been opened

"Octavia? How?!" She asked blinking when the brunette pulled back

"What happened to your phone? I need to tell you something.. I gave your number to my brother and he tried to call you but he couldn't reach you, and I thought maybe it's because he's in the States, even if that doesn't really make sense, does it? But whatever, so I tried to call you and I couldn't too! The line was just dead. And GOD My brother, he wanted to see you again soo bad after he met you on that train, and I love him and he had done so much for me so I decided to take it upon myself to see that you two talk, _really talk_, not letters, so I asked him to give me the address that was on the envelope of the letter that you sent him, and now I'm here! Oh, and my brother doesn't know any of this, I didn't want him to give him false hopes or something, in case I didn't find you.." Octavia said almost never stopping to take a breath

Clarke stared at her with her mouth dropped

The brunette blinked and slapped her forehead "UGH I forgot to mention that my brother is Bellamy Blake, from Sky people, who happens to be the guy that you met on the train that day, five years ago.."

Octavia bit her lip then and made a face when Clarke still stared at her "Did I mention that I tend to talk too much?"

* * *

><p><strong>I'm so excited for this chapter, I think it's my favourite so far, I literally had so many FEELS when I signed the letter with "Love, Bellamy"<strong>

**I'm so used to put "Love, Clarke" that when I realized how I had to sign it I was akfkhzdkdfa yeah, that's a word in my head lol**

**Gotta love Octavia, she's the n 1 Bellarke shipper in here lol**

**AND WELLS? YEAH I wanted him to be happy, 'cause I do nOt accept the end he had in the tv show, HE DESERVES TO BE HAPPY DAMMIT, so here he is happy daddy!Wells**

**And Raven making faces and weird sounds is everything in my head. **

**Anyway.. what happens next…?**

**Muhahaaha, Bell will receive the last letter Clarke had sent.. [letter #5] *gasps* YEAH**

**Well, I'm done, **

**I hope you liked the chap too, **

**I love you guys so much, thanks for the never ending support!**

**ps.**

**I really wanted to update yesterday, but then I got distracted from the episode.. **

**like THA FUDGE WAS THAT PROMO?**

I


	8. Pieces

**[Bellamy POV]**

They had just finished their performance in San Diego and they were now heading for their hotel.

Bellamy was desperate to get some more water.  
>For some reason he was always thirsty, he blamed it on the singing, but then again Murphy sang too and he never drank as much as he did.<br>Bellamy was like that since he was a kid. He remembered her mother telling him and Octavia stories of how she always had to keep at least two water bottles in her bag when she took baby Bellamy to the park.  
>When he started, he just couldn't get enough. She used to call him her <em>little<em> _camel_.

He smiled remembering his childhood nickname. A bittersweet sense settling over him. He hoped that if his mother was still alive, she would've been proud of him. He knew she would be of Octavia.

"We're here" Murphy gave him a nudge and shaking himself from his thoughts he got off the mini van

But stopped walking when he saw their manager coming towards them with his hands raised, as to say 'Stay There'

"What is it? I really wanna have a shower and sleep until noon you know?" Asked Murphy not caring to conceal his irritation when Chris was close enough to hear him

"I know I'm sorry, but you'll have to sleep on the plane, as it turns out we're behind schedule.."

"WHAT?" they all asked at once

Bellamy glanced nervously towards the hotel "What about our bags?"

"Already heading to the jet"

He clenched his jaw. He really needed to go to the reception, in case any letters had come for him. It had been a while since he had sent his one and he was growing restless as the days went by without her response, not to mention that he was also starting to worry as his sister hadn't heard anything from Clarke too.

"Don't worry I got you covered"

He returned his attention to Chris and the man smiled

"I have something for you" He said pulling out an envelope "I asked one of my buddies that control the fan-mails for something that could harm you guys, to put aside anything from a certain Clarke Griffin, and today he brought me this"

Bellamy swallowed and stared at the envelope in their manager hands.

The others stared at it too and then Jasper begun to sing _'I don't wanna miss a thing_' by the Aerosmith

_I could stay awake_

_Just to hear you_

_Breathing_

_Watch you smile_

_While you are sleeping_

_While you're far away_

_And dreaming_

_I could spend my_

_Life in this sweet_

_Surrender_

_I COULD STAY LOST IN_

_THIS MOMENT,_

_FOREVER_

_Every moment_

_Spen-_

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" he yelled turning redder than a pepper

The others laughed and he turned to Murphy

"I swear to god, if you say one thing I might fuckin' strangle you"

Murphy held up his hands smiling "I said nothing"

Bellamy turned narrowing his eyes at every single one of them and slowly reached for the envelope backhandedly, so he didn't see the huge grin on Chris face, trying to hold his laughter, watching the scene unfolding in front of him.

Once Bellamy had it in his hands he safely tucked it in his coat pocket and walked back to the minivan.

* * *

><p>When they were all seated inside the small plane, and when Bellamy was sure that the others were minding their goddamn business he slowly pulled out the thing that had increased his heartbeat since the moment he saw it.<p>

He carefully opened it so to not rip any part of the envelope, and pulled out the letter

_Bellamy,_

_Why do bad things happen?_

He frowned.

_People say that it's because so we can truly appreciate the good that otherwise we wouldn't see, but that's not true for me. I always loved and been thankful for the good that is my life._

_Then why is my dad in a hospital right now?_

_Right now the only thing that is keeping him alive is a machine._

_He went into cardiac arrest so many times that I lost count, he died in front of me, even if only for a couple of seconds, and I stood there, doing nothing, completely frozen._

He sucked in breath continuing to read

_[…] The worst feeling in the world is to watch someone you love die without you being able to do something about it. To feel completely useless to the ones you love._

_That's the worst. And I feel it right now._

Oh, he knew so well what she was talking about. He felt it too when he had to watch his mother fade away in front of his eyes in barely a month and a half.

With a sudden brain cancer there was nothing doctors could do never mind Bellamy who at the time was just a college student. His chest tightened at the memory.

_No one has the courage to say it, but I know that dad doesn't, exactly, have the odds in his favour.._

_Huh, look at that.. I did a reference to the hunger games_

He blinked seeing the ink blurred. The realization that she had been crying while writing on this very sheet, that he was holding now, hit him like a slap.

_If he dies.. I can't Bellamy. I just can't imagine a life without him. He's my daddy. How could I ever go on with my life without him?_

_How do people do it? Go on when someone they love dies?_

_The only thought of it makes me want to double over and scream._

He closed his eyes and inhaled.  
>He knew that urge so well.<p>

After all his first songs were just that. Him merely screaming his grief off.

_[…] We can't lose him._

_One of the last things he told me was to always have faith. He told me that everything, in some way or another will always workout._

_I really hope he's right this time too._

_With love,_

_Clarke_

He looked at the date. It had been sent two weeks ago.

Before he had sent his letter.

He read the letter once again and then again and again.

And then his insides felt like they were on fire.

He was so angry.

She didn't deserve any of this. Why did life had to screw us all?

If only he could've been there he would've at least done something. _Anything_. But now at 30 000 feet from the ground and two weeks too late, all he could do was clench his hands and hope that her father would be okay, if his condition hadn't changed during this period of time.

It was then that he realized that he hadn't thought of his thirst since the moment he'd seen the envelope in Chris' hands.

He had been thirstier for her words than he'd been for water. And now he felt like he was drowning in the awareness of being absolutely useless to her.

* * *

><p>He was still torturing himself over the fact that he couldn't do anything to make her feel better, when he felt someone tapping his shoulder.<p>

"You have the look of someone ready to take an entire army by himself and someone whose puppy just died at the same time. What's wrong?" asked Murphy arching an eyebrow

Bellamy sighed and massaged his eyelids. If there was someone else that could've understood how Clarke felt as much as he did, that was Murphy. And that's why he handed the letter.

"Oh man.." He whispered when he was done "I'm sorry"

Bellamy clenched his jaw looking away "Two weeks. For all I know, her father could've passed away and I wouldn't know.. I don't even know what happened. And I think she had been injured too. And I didn't know. She could've died and I would have probably never known.."

"Hey," his friend held his gaze "It's not on you. You guys had barely made contact, it was just bad luck. Don't piss on yourself for this. There's literally nothing that you could've done"

A smile tugged Bellamy's lips as a thought occurred to him "I bet you were waiting the occasion to throw these words right back at me, huh?"

Murphy snorted "You've no idea.." He gave him a little nudge "Like I said don't piss on yourself, find something that you can do now" He gave him a pat on the back and left him on his own again.

Bellamy sighed again and checked his watch that always stayed on the British time.

_08:36._

He decided to call his sister, maybe she could help him to see this terrible situation through or at least cheer him up a bit.

* * *

><p><strong>[Clarke POV]<strong>

After a while spent staring at her new friend with a face that she imagined looked like a fish's, she moved away so that she could come in.

Octavia waited a little nervously at the entrance while Clarke closed the door, then Raven appeared from the living room with little Amy in her arms, to look who the new comer was and she grinned as soon as she saw the girl

"You must be Octavia! Nice to meet you, I'm Raven" She introduced herself holding out a hand balancing the baby on her hip

Octavia smiled brightly "It's really nice to finally meet you, Clarke told me so much about you! And who's this little munchkin?"

Raven wiggled her eyebrows at Clarke and smiled back at Octavia "She's little Amy" She introduced the baby and then to the baby said "Say hi, baby" with her weird-I-am-talking-to-a-baby-voice and Clarke laughed "Okay, let's go so I can introduce you to the parents"

They went to the living room and the couple stood up

"She's Octavia, a friend of mine" said Clarke

They both smiled holding out their hands "I'm Wells and she's my girlfriend Emily"

Octavia shook their hands smiling "Nice to meet you" she then turned to Clarke "I'm sorry maybe I'm interrupting?"

"NO!" Raven and Clarke screeched at the same time, making the others look at them oddly

"I mean, it's really not a problem, actually I wanted to talk to you" Clarke said gesturing her to sit on the sofa

Octavia made to reply but stopped and frowned leaning to her "Are those stiches on your head?!"

"Hey you guys, care to help me make some tea?" Raven piped in giving clear signal to Wells and Emily that was time to leave the scene

When they were finally alone Clarke told her what had happened to her and her father and why her phone number didn't work anymore.

Octavia's eyes filled with tears and hugged her "I'm so sorry, I didn't know any of this" she pulled back and watched Clarke closely "Are you really okay, now?"

The blonde smiled "I feel great, my head doesn't hurt as much as it did the day I woke up.. It's just my dad.."

Octavia nodded "I know, I really hope he wakes up"

Clarke's throat tightened unexpectedly, she had received so many 'I hope your dad wakes up' to last her a lifetime, but Octavia's one was different, they barely even knew each other and there she was with her face streaked by fresh tears for what she had just told her "Thanks" she finally managed pulling herself together

"I.. You mentioned you wanted to talk to me?"

Clarke blinked "Yeah.. Well.. Uhm.. I" she bit her lip and giggled awkwardly "I just read the letter from your brother.. so I already knew all that business.. him being your brother and all" She frowned "Well not the part of him wanting to meet me again soo bad though, until today I thought I sorta freaked him out that day on the train…" She looked up saw the huge grin on the other girl's face

"If you want I can tell you all sort of things about him" She offered eagerly and Clarke giggled again "But not right now. Now we talk to him"

Clarke gawked "WHAT?" she said in a shrill

"Oh c'mon don't be like that, I bet you couldn't wait to talk to him! Especially if you received his letter!"

"Oh I feel like that doesn't even begin to cover it" Said Raven behind them, who'd come to see what the high pitched squeal was about

Clarke turned to her with her eyes wide "I cannot talk to him now I mean.. Oh My God" she touched her face feeling it becoming too hot for her liking

"Aww you're Blushing!" said Octavia delighted "My bro-" she was cut off from her phone that begun to ring and then she squealed as she recognised the ringtone that she used for her brother's number "Oh My GoD! It's him!" She said holding it out so that Clarke could see

Clarke jumped from the couch and bolted from the room.

* * *

><p>"Bellamy!" Octavia answered the phone<p>

"Hey,-"

"Whatever you want, but can you come to Skype right now?"

"Uhm yeah, I'm on a plane-"

"Okay then come, right now!" she ended the call and went after the blonde.

* * *

><p>Clarke closed herself in her bathroom but soon enough someone was pounding on her door<p>

"Clarke! Open the door! Please don't do this to me, you know how I feel about you closing yourself in the bathroom"

She sighed. She knew how scared Raven became every time she would hide in there, after all she had a good reason after what had happened to her mother. And of course she couldn't put her through that, so she unlocked the door and sat on the toilet after she had closed the lid

"I really, don't get it, why the bathroom? You could just lock yourself in your room.." Raven grumbled getting inside

"Raven I'm scared" She blurted out and watched her friend crouch in front of her "I mean I don't know what I'm feeling.. My heart is beating so hard that I think you can hear it too and I'm sweating and my stomach feels weird. Oh my god I'm having a panic attack!"

"Okay, look at me take a deep breath and count to ten" she held up her fingers and counted with her "How do you feel now?"

Clarke nodded "I little better.. I'm not prepared! I need more time!"

"For what? To get even more nervous than you already are? 'cause that's what'll happen if you miss this chance.."

Clarke hid her face with her hands

Raven sighed "Look no one will force you to talk to him, if you don't want to, but you'll regret it if you don't do it."

Clarke sighed again. She knew Raven was right. She always were when it came to this things. She just knew her that well.

"Okay" She nodded to herself balling her hands in fists "I can do this"

Raven beamed "That's my girl" she stood up and offered a hand "time to conquer some hearts now"

Clarke accepted the hand and laughed giving her friend a little nudge as they walked out from the bathroom.

* * *

><p>When they came out though, they were both surprised to see Octavia there.<p>

She was at Clarke's desk with a laptop that she did not recognise. And worst of all she was talking to someone. Someone who's voice made Clarke's resolve quiver again.

"_Did something happen? Why the hurry? Wait.. Where are you?" Bellamy leaned closer to the screen "Is that a Bed?"_

Octavia grinned "I'm at a friend's house, this is her room.." She turned to look at Clarke then and smiled more gently "You okay?" she asked in a lower tone

Clarke smiled back still a little dazed at the events that were still unfolding in front of her that day. She felt like she hadn't had a break since the moment Raven had given her that letter. And in fact as she thought about it, she didn't. But Raven was right. If she didn't do this now, she'd inevitably regret it afterwards.  
>She nodded at the force of nature that was Octavia. Apparently she had brought her own laptop and set up everything. The only missing piece was Clarke.<p>

The girl stood up and walked to her "If you don't want to, I can make up something, he still doesn't know anything" She said in a hushed tone "I'm sorry.. I tend to be a little bull-headed and rush things when I'm excited"

"_Hey! O? Where are you? I can't see you anymore.."_

Raven snorted and Clarke giggled "You could definitely say that.. But it's fine don't worry"

She took a deep breath and walked to the computer.

* * *

><p><strong>[Bellamy POV]<strong>

Bellamy was going to call his sister's name one other time, when suddenly a flash of gold appeared in front of him. And then his breathing stopped all together.

She smiled as soon as she saw him, or at least he thought so, with webcams you could never know for sure

"Bellamy" he thought he detected a little nervousness in her tone, but then again he was the one that had stopped breathing since the moment he saw her,

"Clarke" He breathed at last, a slow smile making its way on his face

The world around them disappeared.

In that moment it was just the two of them just like that day on the train.

* * *

><p><strong>Was the ending a little cheesy? <strong>

**I think so, but I just couldn't bear the thought of not taking the opportunity xD**

**Anyway, I'm actually really happy that I could squeeze in a tiny**** window in Bellamy's (& Octavia's), Murphy's and Raven's past,**

**And the first songs of SkyPeople as Bellamy said are very screechy, I thought it would have made sense after her mom died, After all he and Murphy are the song writers **

**I actually already have a playlist of their previous songs, for anyone interested**** I'll post that on tumblr (****blog/letterstobellamyfromclarke)**

**Uh! As I read the comments,I noticed that everyone was surprised to discover what Wells' big secret was, and while I'm glad that I'm not too predictable I'm also curious, what did you guys thought the big secret was?**

**Anyway, I think a rambled enough, THANK YOU for your support, you guys have no idea how much your comments make me happy,**

**I seriously, love you all!**

**ps.**

**Also, sorry for the mini cliffhanger**


	9. You'll never be alone

"How are you Clarke?" was the first thing that Bellamy asked with a worried frown

Clarke tried to give him a reassuring smile "I'm Okay.."

His frown grew deeper "I just read your last letter.. letter number 5"

She bit her bottom lip "Oh.. That's actually a little funny cos I just read yours.."

His frown eased a little "Oh?"

Clarke grinned determined to lighten the mood "Yeah, and just so you know-" she stopped as she heard someone asking,

"Is that Octavia?"

Bellamy groaned and then another face appeared on Clarke's screen

"Octa- wait you're not" the named girl that was still in the room with Raven walked back to the laptop so that Jasper could see her "O! Hi!" Octavia laughed and waved her hand and in a matter of seconds the whole band was squeezed in front of the camera

"Who's your friend O?" asked Monty with a friendly smile

But before Octavia or Clarke could say something Jasper interjected wide eyed "Clarke!"

The other boys turned to him and then looked back at Bellamy that closed his eyes and breathed through his nose

"Oh My God, it is her? Isn't she?"

Clarke stared at the screen still not sure of what was going on.

How did Jasper know about her?

She had recognised him because of the whole band thing.  
>Since she had discovered that Bellamy was the lead singer of Sky people she had made a point in getting to know all the members of the band. But her? She should be merely a fan for them.. Right?<p>

Well, unless.. He talked about her to them?

"Clarke!"

She jumped as she tried to place the voice to the speaker from the other end. She finally recognised Miller

"You have to agree to see him again! He's been dreaming of that day on the train ever since, and you should see his face when he receives a letter from you"

She felt her cheeks growing hot. One thing was telling his _sister_ a whole other to his _band mates_.

"Uh-Oh"

Clarke looked up at Octavia "What?"

"He's going to go off.."

"What?"

Octavia didn't answer her. She just begun to mumble a countdown "Any moment now" she said after a while

"FOR FUCK'S SAKE WOULD YOU EVER MIND YOUR GODDAMN BUISNESS FOR ONCE!?"

Clarke jumped at Bellamy's outburst

"Oh look dear Bell is blushing!"

Murphy couldn't resist "Aww" he said cocking his head with a grin

Bellamy glared hard but before he could say something he heard the giggles coming from the speakers and felt his face go even warmer

"You guys should stop" said his sister, not so convincingly still giggling "Really" she tried to be solemn but the smile never left her face "I'm going too, it's only fair that these two have some time alone, don't you think?"

The boys reluctantly nodded after a beat and slowly made their way to their seats.

Bellamy sighed and glanced sideways at the screen.

Octavia gave him a big grin and waved him goodbye, and then Clarke was the only one he could see. His heart reassumed the fast beating that reminded him of Monty drumming.

Clarke watched the door close behind her friends.

Now she was alone with Bellamy, well sort of, she was alone with a computer with him in it. She frowned at the thought and then giggled

"Something funny?"

"Oh, I just thought of you in pocket size, like those little doll's houses dolls"

"How on earth did you come to think of that?" He asked amused

"Oh I could tell you, but we'd be here all day" she threw back smiling

"I absolutely don't mind, at all"

Clarke fought hard to not blush "My mind always does that, starts with something and then goes and goes until sometimes even I don't remember how I got there"

He raised an eyebrow "Seems pretty fascinating"

She rolled her eyes "Or weird"

"Nope, cute.. Okay, weird but you know I like weird"

Clarke nodded smiling, while butterflies took over inside her stomach "So I've read.."

Bellamy just grinned but remained silent.

When she felt the silence was being too much she asked "So, how's the tour going?"

_Oh, no. he's doing it again. _

He didn't respond immediately, he just looked at her for a while. In the same way he did in the train, like he could read all he wanted just looking at her. How could he make her feel her like that even, when he was thousands and thousands miles away, through a computer?

"It's going great" He finally said making Clarke relax a little "I've never thought we'd be this successful.. I dreamt of course, but never thought it would become reality.."

Clarke smiled cocking her head a little "You deserve it all. Your songs and music are fantastic and for what Octavia had told me your certainly did not become an asshole so that's another a plus"

Bellamy laughed "I'm glad we cleared that" He said still chuckling

Clarke's stomach made that weird fluttering thing. She really hoped she'd stopped feeling like that, cos it was getting ridiculous.

Someone knocked at her door breaking the train of her thoughts. She smiled at Bellamy "Just a sec"

He nodded and she walked to her door.

When she opened it though, at first she couldn't see anyone, then she looked down and there was Amy sat in front of her jabbering and waving her arms. Clarke scooped her up, looking at the stairs with a shudder. Apparently the little one had made all the steps alone. She closed the door and walked back to her desk, when she looked at her screen though, Bellamy wasn't there anymore. The laptop had turned off due to low battery. She cursed in her mind and settled Amy so that she too was facing the computer. She reached for her charger praying that it would be the same of Octavia's. Luck was on her side, it fitted. She drummed her fingers on the table while she waited making Amy excited. Finally the wallpaper of a beautiful flower came up and before she could do something Bellamy's skype call appeared.  
>She grinned as she was hit by an idea.<p>

She grabbed some pillows from her bed and put them on the chair and then settled Amy on top of them so that she was level with the camera.

Then she moved out the frame and accepted the call.

"What happe- Oh?" She saw him frowning and stifled a giggle "Hi… baby"

At that Amy shrieked and started to do the babble babble sound that babies do when the drum their fingers on their lips.

Clarke felt herself melt when she saw his face soften in the most tender smile she had ever seen on anyone "You're so cute" Amy shrieked again making Clarke giggle "Oh, so you are there"

Clarke moved in front of the camera and lowered herself so that he could see her "Never left"

Bellamy's smile stayed in place "So who's the baby?"

Clarke picked her up and threw the cushions back on the bed "She's my best friend's daughter"

Bellamy's eyes widened just a little "Raven's?"

Clarke looked at him like he was crazy "What?! No!" She laughed "It's Wells'"

"Oh right.. Oh so that's the big secret? He had a baby?"

"Yeah.." Clarke closed her eyes and bent her head to smell little Amy's hair "He really, had no reason to hide it from me.. But then again, it wasn't really his choice.. Apparently his girlfriend's parents are assholes and she didn't want anyone to know.. I guess the accident changed things.." She opened her eyes and smiled

She saw him blink and then he cleared his throat "Your dad.. How is he?"

"He's.. Okay for now.. Stable in a coma" she sighed "I talk to him every day and also read.. They say that coma patients hear you so I figured.." Her throat tightened, "You know.." she held Amy closer to her and looked away willing the tears to not spill over.

He watched her helpless while he cursed himself for bringing it up. When he heard the sob it was all he could do to not try to reach for her through the screen "Clarke.. I'm-"

She shook her head to compose herself "No, I'm Okay.. It's just.." and then tried to give him a reassuring smile "I'm okay.. I am, I promise"

Bellamy sighed seeing right through her brave face but smiled back nonetheless, after all..What else could he do from there?

She heard a knock on her door again "Come in" she said grateful for the distraction

Wells opened the door with the most worried look she had ever seen on him "Clarke! Have you s-" in that exact moment he saw what she was holding in her arms and Clarke thought he would faint right there such the relief on his face was evident, then he recovered and leaned outside the room again "I found her! She's with Clarke!"

He walked to the desk and Clarke smiled apologetically "I'm sorry, I should've told you, she kinda sneaked in.."

Wells snorted "Yeah she does that a lot.. Who are you talking to?" he asked leaning to the computer.

Bellamy smiled a little awkwardly and waved his hand for good measure, making Clarke giggle "Bellamy Blake"

"Uh, Hi.. Wells Jaha" He nodded to Clarke "Her best friend..?" he looked at her and she smiled nodding

"Though after what you made me go though you shouldn't deserve the title anymore.."

"I know, I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you, 'kay?"

She grinned "Can't wait to take advantage of that!"

Wells smiled and then frowned "Wait a sec, Bellamy as Fr-"

"HA HA HAA" Clarke widened her eyes trying to warn him not to speak THE word.

And again she was saved as Emily burst in with Raven and Octavia in tow. She took Amy from her and hugged her close "God I was so worried.."  
>Clarke looked at the time. <em>Damn<em>. And then at Bellamy, who was trying to figure out what was going on.

She licked her lips "Bellamy, I gotta go.."

"Oh, yes.. Sure" she flinched as she noticed the disappointment in his voice "We're landing too, so.."

"We can.. Talk again?"

Bellamy smiled slightly relaxing "I'd really like that"

She didn't know why but suddenly, she felt emotional. She took a deep breath to take a hold on herself "Okay then, send me the request and I'll add you.."

Bellamy grinned "Aye captain!"

She snorted and waved her hand.

"Bye Bell, hear you later?" asked Octavia appearing by her side

"Sure, I'll get some sleep and then I'll call you, promise"

Octavia nodded "Okay, bye big bro"

He chuckled "Bye O, Bye Clarke" he said softening his features in the smile that made Clarke's stomach flutter "Uh, and also say to Wells and Amy that it was nice meeting them"

Wells hearing him leaned back to the screen "My pleasure Freckles!"

Clarke jumped at the nickname and kicked him on the shin "OKAY, Bye Bellamy" she said and then interrupted the call before he could ask her something, for instance what THAT meant..

Raven begun to laugh and then Wells too, Clarke glared at them both "I hate you"

Octavia watched them amused "Freckles?"

Clarke flushed, Raven answered "It's what we call him.."

Octavia turned to Clarke with a smug smile "So.. I guess I figured what you like most of my brother"

* * *

><p>Later that day after Octavia, and Wells and his family left, and Raven went to work, Clarke walked to the hospital as usual.<p>

She dragged a chair near her father's bed and sat resting her hands on the book she brought with her –this week was the 1st book from the "A Series of Unfortunate Events"- but didn't start reading it right away.

She stared at nothing in particular running her thoughts over her crazy morning. She smiled and giggled. And then her eyes settled on her dad's sleeping face, the giggles turning into sobs.

She rested her head on his hand "I miss you so much daddy" she cried.

After a while she pulled herself up again and wiped her tears away "I have so much to tell you.." She sighed and plastered a smile on her face "You better be listening right now, cos otherwise I'd have a ton of thing to tell you when you'll wake up and I'm not sure I'd remember everything.." she squeezed his hand "I talked to him.. Freckles." She snorted "You were right, writing helps.. and he actually also wrote me back.. Is it normal the way I feel about it, though?" she frowned "It's actually annoying.. I feel on edge every time he speaks to me and when he smiles I get these weird flutter in me, in my chest, in my stomach and in my head.." She sighed "I sound ridiculous.." She watched him for a while, almost hoping that he would magically open his eyes and give her some great speech of his. When his eyes continued to be closed, she sighed again and smiled "Okay, story time" She opened the book and started reading.

* * *

><p><strong>Bellamy POV<strong>

They were landing in about half an hour, so he had no time for a nap and anyway he felt too wired to fall asleep. His grin was so wide that his face was starting to hurt.

_So_..

He finally had spoken to her. He chuckled thinking about it.  
>He fidgeted with the ends of his shirt and then pulled himself up to see what the others were doing. They were all asleep apparently. His hand twitched. He had to write her.<p>

He put aside the laptop and searched his bag for a pen and pulled everything out to find his notebook, but no such luck.

_Damn_.

He finally fished out his blank music sheets. He stared at them for a few moments and then shrugged.

Now he needed a pen.

He stood up and walked to Chris "Hey," he said looking up from his Filofax "You okay?"

Bellamy nodded "Yeah, I just need a pen.. you have one?"

Chris gave him the –are you really asking that question- look and reached inside his jacket pocket and gave him one "New song inspiration?"

Bellamy smiled taking the pen "Not exactly.."

Chris raised his eyebrows and then smiled "I see.."

Bellamy nodded still smiling and walked back to his seat.

_Dear Clarke,_

_I'm still on the plane and I just talked to you but I felt the need to write you anyway. I mean, you can probably tell seeing what I'm writing on.. I didn't have any normal paper but I guess it's the perks of being a song writer. Some way or another I never end up without something to write on._

_As I already told you, I had just finished reading your letter when Octavia did the surprise call, and I.. Well I kind of felt useless because I couldn't do anything to help. And after the call I feel like __you__ were the one who helped me, to not feel like that anymore. So thanks.. and sorry for not being able to help you. I really wish I could be there, even if I'm not exactly sure how could I help._

_For what you wrote me your father is a great man and I really hope he'll pull through but I want you to know that even if he doesn't, you'd be lucky. Because you'd have his memory and so many people that love you and that would help you to get through that pain. _

_I should know. My mother died of cancer when I was 19. _

_O was only 16._

_For a while I shut out everyone and everything. I couldn't let myself grieve. I quit the band and busied myself in finding enough jobs that would made me and my sister survive. I gave up on my dreams and pushed aside my feelings, thinking that I was doing the right thing. _

_I couldn't have been more wrong. _

_It was literally eating me inside. _

_But fortunately I wasn't alone, Octavia and my friends brought me back._

_Octavia threatened me saying that if I didn't put the band together again she would move out and never speak to me again. She's so headstrong that I didn't have any doubt about the truthfulness of her words. So I complied and day by day I began to live again. That's when I started to write songs, actually. Before, we just made some covers.. My first songs are nothing like these days ones, they're so so much heavier in a way.. But they helped me to get through all of that._

_Music, friends and family._

_I also seen it as an outsider with my friend John. He lost his mother too, two years after mine died. I saw him falling in the pit I fell. He quitted the band too. But since he had no siblings to take care of, he just quitted life altogether. Actually it was way harder for him, his father blamed him for her death.  
>He disappeared for a while, no matter how hard me and the guys tried, we couldn't find him for a while. Like me he was determined to go through it alone, because he <em>_thought__ he was alone._

_It's easy to think ourselves alone when something like that happens, but I want you to know that is not true. It wasn't true for me and not for Murphy. He might have lost his blood family but he still had us. He'd probably kill me if he knew that I'm writing like this about him, but it's you so I don't feel that guilty.. _

_What I'm trying to say is that we need people in our lives that are able to stick our pieces back together when we break. The sooner we let them the sooner it becomes easier. _

_You'll never be alone Clarke, I can promise you that._

_I hope to see you soon again,_

_Love,_

_Bellamy_

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry - Scusatemi - Samavenna - I AM SORRY (in all the languages I know) <strong>

**Seriously, I'm really REALLY Sorry I'm so late. I have a reason though.**** My aunt from the USA came to visit us and I had to give up my room and my bed, on which I write. SO strangely as it may sound I SERIOUSLY had such a hard time writing somewhere else, like it's not even funny. It got me so frustrated I cried and almost got depressed cos I knew what I wanted to write, it's not like I had a writer's block or something, it was just I couldn't concentrate enough somewhere else. **

**FINALLY (Hear the bells ringing and the Angels singing?) THE CHAPTER IS HERE. Written some on the couch and in the Uni's library (New Safe Heaven) and cafeteria, IT IS HERE. ****I hope you'll still love this, comments are a lifeline these days, so talk to me and really thanks for sticking with me.**

** I love you so much.**

**El**


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